Revisiting My Refuge

I knew, when the idea of the cloistered heart first came to me in the 1980s, that monasteries of nuns or monks have special places not open to outsiders. I realized that these areas were called cloisters.  It was enough information to get me started. “The whole idea of a cloistered heart,” I wrote in 1988, “is that the part of me referred to as the ‘heart’ – meaning my spirit, who I really AM – should be detached from the world in its attachment to the Creator of the world."

A place of refuge, no matter where I happened to be. A portable fortress, a place inviolate - where I could remain with Jesus in the midst of snowstorms, traffic jams, persecutions, illnesses, fires, floods. It was an appealing idea. It was also (this being most important) theologically sound. "The heart is the dwelling place where I am, where I live... the heart is the place 'to which I withdraw.'  The heart is our hidden center,  beyond the grasp of our reason and of others; only the Spirit of God can fathom the human heart and know it fully. (Catechism of the Catholic Church #2563)

The cloistered heart is the heart of David dancing before the ark; of Mesach, Shadrach and Abednego in the fiery furnace; of Paul in prison, Daniel in the lions’ den, John on Patmos, Peter in chains.  The world is not safe from evil – even the body isn’t safe from harm – but within the cloistered heart there is refuge. The Lord is with me, He is within my cloister.  

My heart, as long as He is in it, is safe. 

"Remember… to retire occasionally into the solitude of your heart while you are outwardly engaged in business with others.  This mental solitude cannot be prevented by the multitude of those who surround you.  As they are not about your heart, but only about your body, your heart remains alone in the presence of God.”  (St. Francis de Sales).

This is a slightly edited repost from our archives. It is being linked to Reconciled to You and Theology is a Verb for 'It's Worth Revisiting Wednesday.'

© 2011 and 2016 Nancy Shuman
thecloisteredheart.org     

Revisiting The Step

I have tried all day to write this post, and I'm kind of stuck.

Could that be (I wonder) because I, myself, am kind of stuck? We've often said that a person entering physically cloistered life is either in or out. She does not stick her head in and leave her arms and legs dangling outside the enclosure door, perhaps to be brought in at a later date. I find it a helpful image, for I can so easily bring part of my life into the will of God while leaving some of me outside. I might find myself clutching this little worry, that tiny vice, that long held attachment...

Could it be that I've set up camp right on the edge of the doorway? Am I parked on the threshold of living for God - not totally out, but not totally in?

I'm helped by remembering that, in deciding to live "in God's will," I am not simply stepping away from something. I'm not just saying farewell to complacency and sin and compromise so I can become "a better person." No.

I am moving toward something. Or I should say, toward SomeONE. It is for Him that I step through the door into surrender to His will. And all the steps after - all of those stairs and turns and inner doorways that frighten me now with whispers of "but what if this happens," and "what if you lose that" - I will not have to take those steps alone. I will not be by myself as I live within His will.

As I tell God that I want to say a deeper yes to Him, something happens. Christ is the Bridegroom of the soul - and what traditionally happens when the bride arrives at the threshold?

All I have to do is let Him carry me over it in His arms.

"My Jesus, please accept the offering and the sacrifice that I make to You this day, as I once more sincerely offer to You my entire will. Tell me what You want me to do. Your holy grace will help me to do it." (St. Alphonsus Liguori) 

Painting: Vilhelm Hammershoi; 
bottom copy digitally altered using a painting by James Tissot


Text not in quotes © 2015 Nancy Shuman. 
thecloisteredheart.org    

This is a repost from our archives. It is linked to Reconciled to You and Theology is a Verb for 'It's Worth Revisiting Wednesday.'

Inside These Walls

A potential nun does not march into the monastery announcing which boundaries she will or will not accept.

'This wall of the enclosure suits me, but I'm not comfortable with that one...'  No, she does not say it. 

Were she to express such thoughts, she would be told that her vocation is elsewhere. These are the boundaries of this monastery, she would be told. These are the walls within which we remain. 

Boundaries are important in a physical monastery. They are important in a spiritual one as well. In the analogy of the cloistered heart, I am invited to live within the boundaries of God's will as a nun would live inside her enclosure.  I don't have to map these out for myself; they are clearly defined for me in Scripture and in 2,000 years of authentic Church discernment.

Today, let's have a look around the enclosure. Click on any line below to open that topic....

An Enclosure Door For Me

Location, Location, Location
 
O, Blessed Enclosure

Our Refuge For Christ


Public domain photo of Clervaux, via Pixabay

 

The Spirit of the Convent Bade us Pause

Having found the monastery where we'd be retreating for a few days, my friend and I were led into a small parlor. The room was separated from the street by the thickness of one wall, a narrow patch of greenery, a short wrought iron fence, and a brick sidewalk. I was surprised at the sudden silence. These walls must be thick, I decided, which only made sense given the age of the building. I'd been told that this was the oldest community of Visitation nuns in the United States (this monastery having been founded in 1799).

Some communities of the Visitation are able to offer laywomen a place of silent retreat for a few days inside the actual cloister, so the ladies can go back to their families spiritually refreshed and recharged. My friend and I were embracing this opportunity. Our time apart from the world would not be 'directed,' but would simply be a chance to pray and live alongside the nuns, in their own environment, and to experience a little sampling of monastic life.  We had found our way along an Interstate (taking a wrong turn in the process), we'd snaked through DC traffic, gulped down a few rushed meals, driven round and round this one area of Georgetown before finding our destination, and now, at the edge of the cloister - we found that our rushing came to a sudden halt. 

‘The spirit of the convent bade us pause. All our worldly wisdom and ordinary knowledge seemed to take flight, and to be of no account whatever. We felt like children who have strayed into some privacy which does not belong to them, which they are hardly qualified to share.’ (A Story of Courage, p.12)

We were straying, indeed, into a privacy which did not belong to us, for we were laywoman and we'd be taking no vows. Yet I, for one, was not crossing the threshold unaware. The cloistered heart analogies I had been pondering were now, in physical form, standing right before me.  I had written that the 'enclosure' of a cloistered heart was within the will of God. We can make a choice to embrace His will, I'd said; we can make a decision to - by His grace - live within it. 'I like to use the analogy of a person entering the cloister because it is such a total move. The person entering physically cloistered life does not stick her head in today and leave her arms and legs dangling outside to be cloistered at a later date. She is either in or she is not. And yet we can give ourselves mostly to God and leave parts of our lives dangling outside that surrender.' (N Shuman)

I had a feeling I'd learn more about the analogies I'd been living with as I saw what life was actually like on the other side of the enclosure walls. 'We were to cross the threshold of the large entrance door, usually inaccessible to the world.....'

If I hoped to spend these next few days in reasonable comfort, I'd better bring every last bit of me inside.

Photo at top via Pixabay
Photo at bottom (cloister door), N Shuman - probably from Georgetown Visitation in the 1990s, but unfortunately I'm not certain of the location

Text not in quotes © 2016 N Shuman thecloisteredheart.org   


This post is part of our series 'A Story of Courage.' To continue in chronological order, click this line.

Revisiting Boundaries

I am enclosed within the will of God.  It is a sweet thought, isn't it?  I have chosen to live within the boundaries of God's will as these have already been built for me, to protect me.  God has given Scripture and Church teaching to show me the boundaries...  to fence me in, so to speak.  If I remain within this enclosure, I am safe from spiritual harm.

But oh, the world outside God's will can look so appealing.  Those who live out there, "free" of the constraints imposed by the "thou shalts" and the "thou shalt nots"... well, they appear to be pretty happy.  They're choosing their own paths without regard to God, and sometimes making sport of those who try to live according to Church teaching. They're telling bawdy stories, drinking to excess, and engaging in behavior that the Bible and the Church clearly assure us is wrong.  This is the way the world is today, we're often told. Anyone who doesn't keep up is a killjoy.

If I'm not inclined to join in some of these particular out-of-enclosure-frolics, I may have other temptations.  To gossip, perhaps. To be unkind. To speak harshly, be slothful, give in to anger, be self-focused... oh, how the list goes on.  The world outside God's will can at times look awfully appealing.  And after all, I'm not sealed up in a cage.  There's no lock on my enclosure wall....

Day by day, I have a choice to make.  A choice not just to enter "the enclosure of God's will" once and for all - but to remain within it.  Whether or not I actually venture outside my enclosure, I do find myself craning my neck (all too often) to see how green the grass looks on the other side.

I find that the only hopes for me are prayer, reliance upon grace, and determination to accept God's help to avoid what used to be called "near occasions of sin."

Which are much nearer to us than they were a few decades ago. And they are still tailor made to kill true joy. 

"Do not conform yourselves to this age, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, so that you may judge what is God's will, what is good, pleasing and perfect."  (Romans 12:2)

This is a slightly edited repost from 2012. It is being linked with Theology Is A Verb and Reconciled To You for 'It’s Worth Revisiting Wednesday'         

Text not in quotes © 2012 - 2015 Nancy Shuman
thecloisteredheart.org  

Painting: Jehan Georges Vibert, Sneaking a Peek 

Revisiting Shadows

“As the wall remains the same however many shadows pass across it, and as the looking glass remains the same however many changes of expression it reflects, so the soul that is held fast in God remains uninfluenced by the waving shapes and images that come and go.” (Dom Hubert Van Zeller, The Yoke of Divine Love, Templegate, Springfield IL, 1957, p. 226)
 
Sin casts shadows. Living in the world as I do, I can't help but see them. Shadows of sin wave daily across my enclosure walls. I walk into a room with a TV and I might hear them. I step into a store and they are there. 

Wanting to live enclosed in the will of God, I choose the boundaries of that will in circumstance after circumstance. Yet unless I run away from everything in the world - unless I run away from my own self with my sinful inclinations, memories, and attitudes - the shadows of sin remain. 

"Be intent on things above rather than on things of earth," Scripture tells me, and I want to do exactly that. "Put to death whatever in your nature is rooted in earth:  fornication, uncleanness, passion, evil desires, and that lust which is called idolatry.  These are the sins which provoke God's wrath.  Your own conduct was once of this sort, when these sins were your very life.  You must put that aside now:  all the anger and quick temper, the malice, the insults, the foul language.  Stop lying to one another.  What you have done is put aside your old self with its past deeds and put on a new man, one who grows in knowledge as he is formed anew in the image of his Creator."   (Colossians 3:2-10)

'Do not conform yourselves to this age but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, so that you may judge what is God’s will, what is good, pleasing and perfect.'  Romans 12:2

Today I make the choice to live within the boundaries of God's will. In this time, in this place, I make the choice.

And the shadows? They will be there. They will tempt and remind and whisper; they'll try to frighten and condemn. But when it comes right down to it, they do not bring anything into the enclosure. They are only reflections of things outside.

Shadows are just shadows, after all.    





This is a repost from 2014. It is being linked with Theology Is A Verb and Reconciled To You for 'It’s Worth Revisiting Wednesday'   
 
Text not in quotes © 2014 Nancy Shuman. 
thecloisteredheart.org    

Even In the Midst

'We cannot go to Jesus in the Tabernacle at every moment of the day, but we can turn inward to the Triune God at any moment, even in the midst of our day's worst difficulties.' (The Living Pyx of Jesus, Pelligrini, 1941, p. 27)

'To be with God it is not necessary to be always in church. We may make a chapel of our heart, whereto to escape from time to time to talk with Him quietly, humbly and lovingly.... Begin then; perhaps He is waiting for a single generous resolution.' (Brother Lawrence) 

'May the God who is all love be your unchanging dwelling place, your cell, and your cloister in the midst of the world.'  (Blessed Elizabeth of the Trinity)   

'May nothing distract me from You, neither noise nor diversions. O my Master, I would so love to live with You in silence. But what I love above all is to do Your will, and since You want me still to remain in the world, I submit with all my heart for love of You.' (Blessed Elizabeth of the Trinity)  

'A strong, resolute soul can live in the world without being affected by any of its moods, find springs of piety amid its salty waves, and fly through the flames of earthly lusts without burning the wings of its holy desires for a devout life.' (St. Francis de Sales)
 
'Your convent will be the house of the sick; your cell, a hired room; your chapel, the parish church; your cloister, the city streets... your enclosure, obedience; your grating, the fear of God; your veil, holy modesty.' (St. Vincent de Paul)

Helpers at the Doors

Living in the will of God is not something chosen once and for all. The choice to so live is continual, made one decision at a time, one door at a time, in one yes after another.

The doors of 'yes,' at times, overwhelm me. They can sometimes loom ahead as massive, weighty, impossible things that would surely need a team to budge.

The doors of 'no,' however (of no to God's will) always look lightweight and undemanding. These are the popular doors, the everybody's-doing-it, live-however-you-want, put-yourself-first doors that never really close. They are like revolving doors:  easy to breeze through and ultimately leading, in time, right back to .... me.

One thing that helps, as I stand before an ongoing succession of choices, is the remembrance that I actually do have a 'team' to help open the doors that usher me more deeply into God's will.

The saints have left 'tracks', their testimonies, to show what can happen when a person chooses to live totally for God.  In the next few weeks, we'll be hearing from a few of these holy men and women.  After all, God has generously given their witness and teaching and prayer to His world - not just for their spans of life on earth, but for all time.  They are a treasure we do not want to overlook as we continue on our journeys Home to God.

The saints are even now, interceding. May they help us go through every holy door. 

'Follow the tracks of the flock, and pasture the young ones near the shepherds' camps.' (Song of Songs 1:8)

'Since we for our part are surrounded by this cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside any encumbrance of sin which clings to us and persevere in running the race which lies ahead; let us keep our eyes fixed on Jesus, who inspires and perfects our faith.' (Hebrews 12:1-2)

'Follow the saints, because those who follow them will become saints.' (Pope Clement I)

'It is said that a saint is one who always chooses the better of the two courses open to him at every step.' (RH Benson)

'Ask, and you will receive. Seek, and you shall find. Knock, and the door will be opened to you.' (Matthew 7:7)

Post by Carmelite Nuns, Preston.

To our e-mail subscribers: this post contains a very brief video clip, which can be seen by visiting the blog itself.

 
Text not in quotes © 2015 Nancy Shuman. 
thecloisteredheart.org   

R.S.V.P.

Our own in-the-midst-of-the-world-cloister, we said last time, is genuine "enclosure," one that goes beyond all of our loftiest mental images.  As a cloistered nun or monk lives within a specific area known as the cloister, we can make a specific choice to live in the safest spiritual place on earth.  

We can accept God's grace to live within the loving embrace of His will.  

How is this different from the invitation God issues to everyone?  It is not different at all.  We are each given a generous invitation to live within God's will, and we are each free to respond.  The cloistered heart analogy is simply one way of envisioning it.

God placed the first human beings on this earth and gave instructions on how to live (Genesis 2:16-17).  It was pretty simple, really, and absolutely do-able.  God said, in essence: here is all you will ever need.  A splendid bounty.  You don't even have to work for it.  All I ask is that you trust Me, trust that I know what's best for you, and just do not eat of that one single solitary tree. 

All these millenia later, we still face the same basic choice.  Because of that first move out of the will of God, we were not born into Eden - but thanks to Our Savior, we do have an eternal world of glory awaiting us. And we also have an opportunity to live, even on earth, in the best location possible.  A place from which we can look with anticipation toward our eternal Home.  A place in which we can be assured that God is ordering our circumstances (even when we see them as painful or murky) toward nothing but good.

It is all so basic.  We are issued an invitation.  Our Lord Jesus Christ suffered and died to provide all the grace we need to accept it. 

How will we respond?

__________________________________________________________________________

Suggested links from our archives:

Location, Location, Location 

Just Having a Look


Text © 2014 Nancy Shuman. 
(portions of this post were taken from our archives) 

Photos from public domain 



To look more into our enclosure, click this line



 

One Deciding Step

As has surely become obvious over these last few days, I sometimes imagine myself before a cloister door.  

I have pictured this for years, actually, for the mental image of it helps me see the life to which I am called.  In the analogy of the cloistered heart, the will of God is my enclosure... a reality before which (when faced with its possible implications) I am tempted to draw back, waver, second-guess.

I have no reservations when God's will and mine are precisely the same.  But at some point(s), my will and God's are going to conflict.  I know this; in my heart I know this.  What happens then? 

“Live in My will,” God tells me.  “Live in My will when you understand it and when you do not.  Trust ME."  In the face of such an invitation, I have a choice to make.

I like to remember that a person entering physically cloistered life does not stick her head in today and leave her arms and legs dangling outside.  She is either in or she’s not.  And yet I can give myself mostly to God and leave parts of my life dangling outside that surrender.  

Making the decision to embrace the will of God is not a once-for-all-time-thing, of course.  I re-decide, circumstance by circumstance.  But there is something about at least making my choice of God's will specific.  One deciding step.  I have found that grace comes with making this decision.  I tell God I want to live according to His will… and then in circumstance after circumstance, I find that His grace abounds.

So yes, I imagine myself standing before an enclosure door.  I consider.  I vacillate.  I want a print-out of all that will be asked of me before I give my “yes.”  I’m trembling, halting, looking back, shuffling, straining.  Then, timidly, I stick one toe forward…

…and it’s as if He suddenly, tenderly, picks me up and carries the rest of me inside.  Even those dangling arms and legs.

"Take, Lord, all my liberty.  Receive my memory, my understanding, my entire will.  
Whatever I have and possess, you have given me; to You I restore it wholly,
and to Your will I utterly surrender it for my direction. 
Give me the love of You only, with Your grace,
and I am rich enough; nor do I ask anything besides."  (St.Ignatius Loyola)




"I am the Gate. Whoever enters through Me WILL BE SAFE.” (Jesus, quoted in John 10:9) 

Text © 2014 Nancy Shuman. 
thecloisteredheart.org   

You are invited to leave comments in The Parlor  

 Painting: Edelfelt, At the Door, 1901, in US public domain

An Enclosure Door for Me

Sometimes I feel world-weary.  Tired of putting up, not just with my own failings, but with the shameless acceptance of sin that's dancing proudly all around.  I don't have to look far to find it.  In fact, I don't have to "find" it at all.  It leers from newcasts and taunts from TV screens and celebrates its own rebellion, unashamed.

It seems that evil is marching right out of the shadows, where once it lay hidden.  It boldly kills, lies, cheats, distorts, perverts, abuses, and mocks the holiness of God. 

And, having written that last paragraph, I know why I'm feeling weary.  Evil is mocking God.

It's trying to convince us that God isn't there, He doesn't care, and we can do whatever we want with our bodies and babies and friends and enemies and world.  The world is ours, evil tells us; we are thoroughly in control.

If enough people do/say/believe/practice/ignore a behavior (we're "told"), it must be fine.  Again and again, the love and truth and mercy of God are shunned and rejected.  Can you imagine loving someone so much that you would take a beating for them?  Be nailed to a Cross and die for them?  And then can you imagine having your loved one laugh in your face, spit on you, mock you, say they hate you?  It happens to Jesus every day. 

Wouldn't it be nice, I sometimes think, to walk through an enclosure door and leave the wicked world behind. To go where people live for the Lord Who died for them; where they accept His love and forgiveness, where they recognize sin for what it is, where they return love for Love.

I know it's not that simple; of course it's not.  But it does represent an ideal.  And for those of us not called to such a life, it can (I think) have something to say.

I cannot walk away from the world, nor should I.  I can't flee from the mockery and rebellion.  To walk away from the world would be walking away from my vocation, for "in the world" is where my call lies.  While I can limit a great deal of the garbage that tries to find an entrance into my mind, I can't eliminate all of it.  And that is why I appreciate the analogy of the cloistered heart, and the visual imagery of the grille, and the door through which I am invited to walk.

The doorway for a cloistered heart is the door of total surrender to God. 

As I've written before, sometimes I imagine myself standing before a physical door.  I consider.  I vacillate.   I want a print-out of all that will be asked of me before I give God and His will an unqualified “yes.”  I’m second-guessing, halting, looking back.  Then I stick one foot forward… 

“Jesus, I give You my whole heart and my whole will.  They once rebelled against You, but now I dedicate them completely to you…Receive me, and make me faithful until death.”  (St. Alphonsus Liguori).   

Yes, I am world-weary.  But there's a cloister I can live in; there is grillwork I can look through.  

There is an enclosure door for me.  

William Paxton painting, public domain

Text © 2013 Nancy Shuman.  All Rights Reserved.
thecloisteredheart.org    

The One Sure Cloister

                                      
                            'The one sure cloister is the cloister of the heart,

                            where Jesus and the soul live their love-life together, 

                            untroubled and undisturbed by all the riot and tumult of the world.

                            With every movement of memory, mind, and imagination stilled, 

                            every desire quelled, there in the silent cloister of the heart,

                            the soul is flooded with the calm tranquil peace of perfect love...' 

                                       
                            'The outward cloister matters little; the inward cloister matters much.'

(from "Listening to the Indwelling Presence," compiled by a Religious, Pellegrini, Australia, 1940)

Yes. God Really Said.

As we continue to revisit the very basics of the cloistered heart analogy, I'm reminded that our "call" is that of every Christian.  The analogy we use is simply a way of helping us envision it.

Each of us is called to live according to the will of God.  Our Creator placed us on this earth and gave us instructions on how to live (Genesis 2:16-17).  It was pretty simple, really, and absolutely do-able.  God said, in essence: here is all you will ever need.  A splendid bounty.  You don't even have to work for it.  All I ask is that you trust Me, trust that I know what's best for you, and just do not eat of that one single solitary tree. 

Ooops.

All these millenia later, we still face the same basic choice.  Because of that first ooops, we were not born into Eden - but thanks to Our Savior, we do have an eternal garden of glory awaiting us. And the way I look at it, we also have an opportunity to live, even on earth, in the best location possible.  A place from which we can look with anticipation toward our eternal Home.  A place in which we can be assured that God is ordering our circumstances (even when we see them as painful or murky) toward nothing but good.

Of course, I'm speaking of the will of God, the boundaries of which are mapped out for us in His Word and through His Church. 

Yes, this is very basic stuff.  But oh, how easy it is to lose sight of basics!  Which is why I'm grateful for the imagery of enclosure, and of grillwork, because these help me as I try to practice the basics day by day.

In circumstance after circumstance, we are presented with the question:  "Did God really say?"  This threads through our culture, often as a general assumption that He said no such things.  "In this enlightened, scientific, sophisticated age, do you mean to tell me you think all that stuff in the Bible is really true?!  You think God really said?  Why don't you just open your eyes and judge for yourself!?"

"The woman saw that the tree was good for food, pleasing to the eyes, and desirable for gaining wisdom..."  (Genesis 3:6)

The woman saw.  The woman judged.  She could see no reason not to eat from that particular tree except for one little detail, surely a small matter that could be overlooked. 

God said.  

© 2013 Nancy Shuman.  All Rights Reserved.
thecloisteredheart.org   

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In or Out?

"Are you in or are you out?"

It's a question that has rattled around in my mind for the last several days. I want to know God's will and do it and "live within" it and embrace it as my enclosure.  I've thought and talked and written for years about this very thing.   

Yet today I find myself face to face with one question. 

"Are you in or are you out?" 

I will admit that this is not what I expected to be writing when I came to this screen tonight.  I thought I'd be looking into a few specific reasons for monastic life, considering how these might be applied to our lives out in the world.   

Even as I type this, I feel a bit of clarification (and you're getting this just as it comes to me, hot off still on the griddle, for better or for worse...), and I think the question may be for each of us.  In the next few (days?  weeks?) I hope to look past the externals of monasticism, exploring more deeply why monks and nuns give their lives utterly to God.  I hope to consider why and how we can give our lives to Him as well, in the midst of families and jobs and trials and distractions and mess-ups and failings.  The call to live for God - not just partly, but fully - is not just for those in monasteries, as we know.  It is a call for us.   It's a serious call, the most serious we will ever face, and the most beautifully profound.  I feel a burden of responsibility even writing of it.  I have no idea if the words I am clacking away on this keyboard tonight are even making sense.

Tomorrow, God willing, I will be back on this screen.  In the meantime, I only have to take a brief look around to see that the world is not all that understanding of those who want to live totally for Christ.  Living as the Church asks us to do, spending our lives "inside" the will of God?  That can be looked upon as a pretty crazy decision.  There really isn't much room for compromise.  

The will of God stands open to welcome me.  I can't spend my whole life just loitering in the doorway.   

Am I in?  Or out?  

© 2013 Nancy Shuman.  All Rights Reserved.
thecloisteredheart.org     

I Choose the Wall

Living within the will of God, making a specific choice to do so, can be a pleasant thing to talk about.  It's nice to write of, good to meditate upon, and the idea fits well in the pages of a "cloistered heart" blog.

It's just a bit different when it comes to the "doing" of it.  Oh, it's not so bad when God's will and mine are precisely the same.  But the funny thing is:  at some point(s), my will and God's are going to conflict.  

What happens then?

Tonight I'm looking at the "walls" of God's will - the boundaries in which I am "enclosed" if I genuinely want to live for Him.  I'm thinking about what the Church teaches on particular subjects.  I'm considering Scripture.  Wow - there are some tough things to live up to in Scripture!  Pray for my persecutors?  Love my neighbor as myself?   Do not judge?!

Sometimes I find myself picking and choosing.  I'll live this commandment, but not that other one.   I'll go right along with this chapter in the Catechism, but surely I'm not expected to take that one seriously.  I mean... c'mon!   Who does?

If I intend to live cloistered in heart, then I "does."  I don't just go grabbing stones out of my enclosure wall.  For if I do, it won't be long before that wall - that high, beloved wall built by Our Lord Himself to protect me - comes swiftly tumbling down.   And I am left unprotected, unshielded, vulnerable to attacks on my life, my spirit, my immortal soul.  

God's will and mine are going to conflict.  At various points, this is going to happen.  In order for me to choose God's will for Him and not just for my own self-interest, this HAS to happen.  

For if God's will and mine are always the same, however could I make a truly free choice for His?  

"Don't lose heart, I entreat you; gradually train your will to follow God's will wherever it leads."  (St. Francis de Sales)

Text not in quotes © 2012 Nancy Shuman.  All Rights Reserved.
thecloisteredheart.org    

Just Having a Look....

I am enclosed within the will of God.  It is a sweet thought, isn't it?  I have chosen to live within the boundaries of God's will as these have already been built for me, to protect me.  God has given Scripture and Church teaching to show me the boundaries...  to fence me in, so to speak.  If I remain within this enclosure, I am safe from spiritual harm. 

But oh, the world outside God's will can look so appealing.  Those who live out there, "free" of the constraints imposed by the "thou shalts" and the "thou shalt nots"... well, they appear to be pretty happy.  They're choosing their own paths without regard to God, and sometimes making sport of those who try to live according to Church teaching.  They're telling bawdy stories, drinking to excess, and engaging in behavior that the Bible and the Church clearly assure us is wrong.  This is the way the world is today, we're often told... don't be a killjoy!  Keep up with the times! 

If I'm not tempted to join in these more obvious out-of-enclosure-frolics, I may have other temptations.  To gossip, perhaps; to be unkind, speak harshly, be slothful, give in to anger, be self-focused... and on and on.  The world outside God's will can at times look awfully appealing.  And after all, I'm not sealed up in a cage  There's no lock on my enclosure wall....

Day by day, I have a choice to make.  A choice not just to enter "the enclosure of God's will" once and for all - but to remain within it.  In one circumstance, and another, and in the one that catches me quite off guard. Whether or not I actually venture outside my enclosure, I do find myself sitting (all too often) on the fence.  I find that the only hopes for me, in this, are prayer, reliance upon God's grace - and some actual practicing. 

Over the next few days, I hope to provide a few illustrations of what I mean by this. 

"Do not conform yourselves to this age, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, so that you may judge what is God's will, what is good, pleasing and perfect."  (Romans 12:2)

Text not in quotes © 2012 Nancy Shuman.  All Rights Reserved.
thecloisteredheart.org      

By the Light of Obedience

If our enclosure is within the will of God, obedience is what keeps the paths lit.  After all, without obedience to God there is no such thing as “enclosure in God’s will.”  Enclosure in the will of God without obedience TO the will of God would be impossible; it would be a contradiction. 

Cloistered nuns and monks vow obedience to the will of God as stated in their rules and constitutions, and as discerned by their superiors.  They do not do this blindly, but with their eyes fixed upon Jesus.  It is out of love for Him that they choose to obey. "The novice promises not just to obey orders but to ‘live IN obedience.’  The phrase has a splendid ring to it, as though she were throwing up imposing castle walls around her whole life…” (Mother Mary Francis PCC, A Right to be Merry) 

We who wish to live for God in the midst of the world are called to obedience.  Our Rule is Scripture.  Our “constitutions,” if we are Catholic, are found in the teachings of the Magisterium of the Church.  Our superiors are the Pope and bishops teaching in union with him.  God has given us free will; we can choose to obey or not obey Him.  Out of love for God and by His grace, we are free to make the loving choice:  to obey all that He asks of us.  We can then look upon obedience not as a burden, but as a precious opportunity to express our love for God.

Hesitant and questioning though I may be, I am invited to embark upon the road of obedience, trusting that the ways and the whys will become “illuminated” as I move along. I am invited to watch self-love crumble beneath each obedient footstep. 

This is no small gift, for as the darkness of self-love scatters, I shall have more room in my life for the illuminating love of God.

For prayer and reflection:

"A lamp to my feet is Your word, a light to my path."  (Psalm 119:105)

“The love of God consists in this: that we keep His commandments - and His commandments are not burdensome.” (1 John 5:3)

“God loves your tiniest act of obedience more than all other homages you might think of offering Him.” (St. John of the Cross)

“He who obeys the commandments he has from Me is the man who loves Me; and he who loves me will be loved by My Father.  I too will love him, and reveal Myself to him…. Anyone who loves Me will be true to My word, and My Father will love him; we will come to him and make our dwelling place with him.” (John 14:21 & 23)

(Georges de la Tour painting public domain) 

Text © 2012 Nancy Shuman.  All Rights Reserved.
thecloisteredheart.org