Saturday, January 3, 2015
Not Afraid to Look
I've made a commitment. I have said I'd be sharing occasional "snapshots" of my life TODAY as a cloistered heart; snippets of my ongoing struggles to remain "cloistered" in the midst of this world, this family, this year, this age of the world and the Church and (oh dear) of me. Yes, I'm terrified. The screen sits here so. Blank.
What if the words are gone. I mean, it's as if I can't find them. Is it because I'm no longer just scribbling private scratches in hidden-away journals, as I did years ago, unaware that one day those would tumble out in print for other eyes to see?
Now I know you are right there, on the other side of the screen - and oh, I'm so grateful! I am truly grateful. You hear, you echo, and we let each other know, now and then, that we're not alone in being bent upon living for God right in the midst of the world. And even though the painting on this post is not actually of someone gazing at a computer screen, couldn't it be ......us? In my case, with no jewels. And with a striped blouse and gray sweater (I knew you'd want to know that). But I digress....
To be bent on something, say the dictionaries, is to be resolute, extremely determined, characterized by firmness, and unshakeable.
Am I bent upon living for God? It is a good question as this new year begins.
And I think I will leave this post at that, just with that question. I do want to live a good life, a moral life, a life of concern for others. But am I, at this moment in time, utterly bent upon living for God?
I will spend time today prayerfully pondering. Jesus is with me, and He is mercy, so I shall not fear my own answer.
Jesus is with me, and I am not afraid to look.
Painting: Richard Edward Miller, in US public domain due to age