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Saturday, January 3, 2015
Not Afraid to Look
I've made a commitment. I have said I'd be sharing occasional "snapshots" of my life TODAY as a cloistered heart; snippets of my ongoing struggles to remain "cloistered" in the midst of this world, this family, this year, this age of the world and the Church and (oh dear) of me. Yes, I'm terrified. The screen sits here so. Blank.
What if the words are gone. I mean, it's as if I can't find them. Is it because I'm no longer just scribbling private scratches in hidden-away journals, as I did years ago, unaware that one day those would tumble out in print for other eyes to see?
Now I know you are right there, on the other side of the screen - and oh, I'm so grateful! I am truly grateful. You hear, you echo, and we let each other know, now and then, that we're not alone in being bent upon living for God right in the midst of the world. And even though the painting on this post is not actually of someone gazing at a computer screen, couldn't it be ......us? In my case, with no jewels. And with a striped blouse and gray sweater (I knew you'd want to know that). But I digress....
To be bent on something, say the dictionaries, is to be resolute, extremely determined, characterized by firmness, and unshakeable.
Am I bent upon living for God? It is a good question as this new year begins.
And I think I will leave this post at that, just with that question. I do want to live a good life, a moral life, a life of concern for others. But am I, at this moment in time, utterly bent upon living for God?
I will spend time today prayerfully pondering. Jesus is with me, and He is mercy, so I shall not fear my own answer.
Jesus is with me, and I am not afraid to look.
Painting: Richard Edward Miller, in US public domain due to age
Posted by © Nancy Shuman at 2:01 PM
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Amen! And I went to confession to start the year out right...(and then to the Cheesecake Factory ;) So far, my New Year is looking good!ReplyDelete
Patty - thank you for 'looking with me!' Confession and the the Cheesecake Factory.... what an ideal start to 2015!Delete
I did want to know that, Nancy (about the sweater and striped blouse)...lol. I have a green sweatshirt on and sweatpants myself (because I was shoveling the deck and because they are comfortable). What color are your shoes?ReplyDelete
She DOES look as if she's staring into a computer screen! A good question you ask here too. My deepest desire is to live for God alone...and then I forget that and start all over again. I think I just may be the best starter in the world but the worst finisher. (Hopefully not permanently or I'll be in big trouble.)
Happy New Year!
White. Or that's what the box said when I bought these leather lace-up walking/running/stumbling shoes a buncha years ago. Are they white now? Wellll....Delete
I think you said something really important when you said "start all over again." The tragedy would be if we DIDN'T keep up those re-starts!
Thanks, Mary, and happy new year to you too!
Count me in with the 'bent' crowd too!ReplyDelete
Everyday..I begin again. I used to feel defeated by that thought, but now I see it as a great blessing and encouragement. God walks with the 'bent' ones.
Oh..and I'm wearing white shoes, too..does that help, do ya think? xx
White shoes: that just might be a secret of the 'bent' crowd!Delete
I've come along the same path you have, realizing that beginning again every day is a blessing. It helps me a lot if, every time I get "down" on myself for not being more prayerful or whatever, I remind myself that I can begin RIGHT NOW. At the very moment I am seeing the lack of virtue.
So on we go, together, in our white shoes :).......
Yes and yes..what a great question. And I love all the above comments! It seems I have to recenter all the time, in the moments and on the fly! Though, I can say with certainty that your wonderful and God centered writing has influenced my blundering bent for God in so many ways over all this time and cyberspace and hearts of friends. Thank you for looking and writing and loving God through us!!! From the other side....ReplyDelete
Oh, I thank you so much. "In the moments and on the fly..." yes, that is where and how most of us live for God. It is a blessing (beyond what I can say) to know that we are journeying together, meeting through the grace of the screen....Delete
She does look as if she's looking at a computer screen!ReplyDelete
"His mercies are new every morning . . . " So thankful for that!
Oh me too - so thankful!Delete
They sure did make good looking computers back in those days, didn't they, Deborah? :) With mouse pads that look - why, just like jewels!