Tuesday, September 10, 2013

The Third Door

Today I am astonished, all over again, at how precisely God answers prayer. 

I have recently felt drawn in three different directions for this blog.  I've considered two of those, made half hearted attempts toward them, and come up dry and uninspired and weary.  Hmm, thought I.  Is this just a type of "writer's block?"  Probably.  Just pick one of the two and go with it.

Oh, but wait.  I mentioned three directions, didn't I?

Yes, but I wasn't really considering that third one.  The first two were systemized, neat, tidy, and even had a few how-tos.  "Door number three" was more random, open-ended, and would probably be like journaling.  Maybe even (cough) at times "confessional."  The thing is:  I simply do not know.  With choice number three, I have no sense of direction other than to just start writing.  Just live each day as the cloistered heart I strive to be and let you in on what and how I'm doing.  That's all.  Should be simple, right?

It hasn't felt that way.  It has felt .... scary.

So I prayed about it.  I "handed God" not just two possibilities, and not simply three.  I asked Him to let me know whatever He wants, for each of us, here, right now.

As I finished that quick prayer, my eyes fell on a copy of the Cloistered Heart book.  Sometimes it helps me to go back to basics, so I opened it.  Immediately I saw this:   

"The cloistered heart is not a system.  It is not a series of 'how-tos' - how to become a cloistered heart.  The cloistered heart is a witness.  'They' do not need to be handed the vision of the cloistered heart, neatly packaged and ready for quick sale....  I cannot write the how-tos of cloister.  I must simply become a cloistered heart in all its implications,  many of which I do not yet know, and I must record the journey."  (Cloistered Heart, p. 30, 2008 edition)

Hmmm.  And again I say, hmmm.

What will be written here in days just ahead?  I have absolutely no idea.  But I must say:  I no longer feel afraid of "door number three."  And I will be praying through every single post.

I hope you'll stick around for this adventure.  I am still making the trek toward cloister of the heart.  I'm still trying to grow in prayer and love and living in God's will.

And I'm still recording the journey.

Painting: Sir William Orpen, The Window Seat 

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