This has been One of Those Days. Physically, I've been "under the weather" (nothing serious, just uncomfortable and wearying). I have an unnerving case of spiritual lethargy. I am tired. Emotionally, I'm on the blah side. Mentally, I feel DULL.
I wonder what St. Therese of Lisieux would have done with such a day. Her physical pains far exceeded my own, yet she somehow managed to pray through them. My prayer today is scattered and distracted. It seems I can barely mutter (mentally) a "dear Lord" before I'm falling asleep.
And what about St. Margaret Mary? She actually wanted suffering. In moments of spiritual consolation, I have (almost) understood that desire.
On a day like this, however, I long for comfort, relief, and possibly a dose of chocolate to see me through.
Ah. But it's not what will see me through that matters. If I want to be a cloistered heart, what matters is what I am seeing through.
In other words, am I looking "through the grille" at pain, lethargy, dullness, and the blahs?
I grab onto my grillwork (pick up my Bible) to see what I find.
"My grace is sufficient for you, for in your weakness My power reaches perfection." (2 Corinthians 12:9)
Now, that is a striking piece of grillwork. In my weakness, His power reaches perfection! Not when I'm at my strongest, but precisely when I am weak! Therefore, His power has quite a good chance of reaching perfection in me right now, on a day like this.
So what do I do? I have seen "through the grille." Now how do I respond through it?
"Rejoice always, never cease praying, render constant thanks; such is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)
In moments of weakness, this command could feel challenging. Interesting, however, that I find myself encouraged by it. Strengthened. Empowered. Ready to go through the rest of this day making aspirations (or at least intentions of aspirations, in case I actually need sleep) of thankful prayer. Why? Because this is God's will for me in Christ Jesus. That is enough for me: it is God's will.
Interesting, too, that as I began this post (having no idea where it would be going), I didn't feel like writing or thinking. But now, "two pieces of grillwork later," I'm already better. I am making a decision, here and now, to do exactly what Scripture says.
I am able to make a decision to thank God in the midst of my lethargy and my dullness.
It is a decision that can only be made, with such freedom, on a day like this.
Painting: Elizabeth Forbes, The Leaf