The Shattered Wall

We've spent Lent (on this blog) slipping, sliding, grasping, flailing, glimpsing, climbing our way up several kinds of walls.  We've looked for ways over and around and through.  We've encountered locks and bars and ropes.

And then there was Easter.

Now, suddenly no lock is keyless.

Now, there is a way through walls.

Basically, it all comes down to This......




"Suddenly the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom..." (Matthew 27:51)



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Afflicted God-Man, Be My Support

'O suffering God-Man,
I beg You with all my soul,
never let me
take my eyes from You.
If I keep on trusting in You,
You will inflame me completely.
I will try with all my strength
to come back to You
and to fix my eyes on You.
I want to be continually
returning to You
and travel the ways
of the Passion
and of the Cross...

'O afflicted God-Man,
be my support.'

Blessed Angela de Foligno

Whose Debt You are Paying

'Oh Jesus, 

You were led to death

like a lamb, like a sheep 

that does not open its mouth

before its shearers. 

You utter no word of complaint

to Your Father Who sent You,

nor against the men 

whose debt You are paying.'  

St. Bernard




Painting: Champaigne, Ecce Homo
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Sin. A Serious Thing.

'Oh, what a serious thing sin is, for it was enough to kill God with so many sorrows!  And how surrounded You are by them, my God!  Where can You go that they do not torment You?  Everywhere mortals wound You...

'What extraordinary ingratitude, my King!  That we serve the devil with what You Yourself gave us!  ...Oh, my God, how much You suffer for one who grieves so little over Your pains!'

                                                                                                                               St. Teresa of Avila 


 Painting:  James Tissot, The Grotto of the Agony
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He Took Upon Himself

'Christ did not suffer because of some accident or another, but really took the whole history of mankind into His own hands. 

'His suffering for us is not merely a theological formula.  To see this and then to let ourselves be drawn by Him to HIS side, and not to the other side, is an existential act. 

'In meditation on the Way of the Cross we realize:  He is really suffering for us. 

'And He also took upon Himself MY cause.

'Now He is drawing me to Himself by seeking me out in the depths of myself and bringing me back to Himself.' 

- Pope Benedict XVI, Light of the World, Ignatius Press, 2010,  pp. 36-37

I Ask You

I have grabbed onto the 'ropes,' allowed God to help me through walls that kept me from Him, I've made the climb.  It has taken cooperation on my part, but I can now concentrate better in prayer.

Sometimes, it's as if a door opens and my heart suddenly recognizes the One I've been seeking.

Is what I find worth my efforts? 

I ask you.  

This is part of a 'mini-series' of posts on walls. To continue, click here.

Grabbing the Ropes

Picture Attribution

I am a needy person.  I'm in great need of God.  Yet, knowing that He has "thrown down" numerous "ropes" to help me scale walls between Him and me, I often turn away from His helps and let myself remain needy.  And, frankly, very stubborn.

"Lord, help me," I beg.  And then I forge ahead under my own steam.  I think of the joke (we've probably all heard it) about the man on the roof of his house as flood waters rose all around him.  He prayed and trusted God.  People called out to him from boats and a small plane, offering aid.  Nope, said he - God will save me. When the waters swept over him and he went to meet his Maker, he asked God why He hadn't come through.  "But I did come through," he was told.  "I sent you two boats and a helicopter!"

What ropes are before us today, just waiting to hoist us into the Presence of God on earth?  He has provided oh, so many aids!  There is the amazing Sacrament of Reconciliation to pull us out of serious sin.  There is His Presence in the Eucharist, where we can adore and even receive Him.

As we discussed a few days ago, there are ropes to pull us toward God in personal prayer... aids He has provided to snatch us out of the grasp of distractions so we can concentrate on Him.  Thus we'll be able to "hear" more clearly His guidance for our everyday lives.

Ah, but there is an enemy of our souls, one who'd like nothing better than to cut every one of our  ropes.  Or at least to convince us that we shouldn't use them, we don't need them, they're silly, we should be stronger and more intellectual than those who might need such things. 

The Sacraments.  Scripture.  Holy music.  Sacred art.  Holy reading.  The rosary.  Various devotions that the Church has found worthy of approval.  Stations of the Cross.  These have been "dropped down," as it were, through the merits of Our Lord's death and resurrection.  These are of much more value than all the ropes mankind ever made.

I will admit it.  I'm a needy person.  I need the Sacraments.  I need Scripture.  I need holy music and sacred art and saints and my guardian angel and lots of devotional reading.  I need helps to keep me focused in prayer.  I want nothing more than to stay tied tightly to my Lord, Jesus Christ.

I am a needy person.  So I'm grabbing the ropes.

Text not in quotes © 2013 Nancy Shuman.  All Rights Reserved.
thecloisteredheart.org    


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With God's Help, I Can Scale Any Wall

You, O Lord, are my lamp,

my God who lightens my darkness.

With you I can break through any barrier,

with my God I can scale any wall.

Psalm 18:29-30



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Sometimes We Need a Little Help

There has been a breakthrough in my personal wall of ‘distracted prayer.’  I’ve found a door.  But can I describe it?  We’ll see.  This may not be all that easy, so I beg your patience as I try.

After reading a recent comment, I was hit with it.  I've been feeling as if I'm running from God when I don’t look forward to prayer time.  Not a pleasant thought at all.  I have felt lazy, undisciplined, and unloving.  Ouch.

Then one of you said something that opened a floodgate.  Because of this I suddenly saw myself sitting in my ‘prayer chair,’ Bible or Breviary in hand.  There I am (in my mental picture), settling in to pray.  In march the distractions, as they always do.  

The thing is:  once my mind makes any attempt to 'quiet,' then every stray thought that's been lingering around snaps up that golden opportunity to hop on in and demand its share of attention.  I can count on it.

Ah ha, there it is, I thought today.  'I can count on it.'  I've begun to associate sitting in prayer with feeling beaten up, bedraggled, worn down, defeated, and ashamed of being “lukewarm.’  Ah ha!

It’s not the Lord Himself I’ve been avoiding!  It is that persistent, nagging, dragging war with distractions. 

But what to do about this problem?  Stick to it, fight it out, trudge on upward, scale that wall of distractions unaided?

I'm sure God is pleased by such efforts.  However, I think He understands when we sometimes need a little help.  A spiritual director once asked me (when I was having trouble praying as I once had) 'well... what CAN you do?'  Start with that one thing (I was told), and begin to build on that. 

Today I went back to that suggestion.  I gave myself permission not to beat myself up, permission not to climb a ladderless wall with my bare, worn down hands.  I took one thing I CAN do and asked God to help me build on that.

The one thing (today) was music.  I remembered that I haven't been using it in my prayer time lately.  It has often helped me 'shake the dust of the world' out of my soul before, so I tried to find a CD.  Couldn't.  I'd moved them around.  

Then I got distracted by my laptop sitting next to me.. but instead of fighting that, I actually picked UP the laptop and clicked on a few holy songs (I knew just where to quickly find them).  Before long, I was absorbed in the music and singing along. 

There were pictures also, as these were YouTubes, so suddenly two senses were engaged.  One photo was of an incenser; I got distracted by thinking of how much I love incense.  No problem, I have a jar of it right next to my chair.  I opened it and the aroma gently filled my prayer space.  Three senses engaged.

I picked up a rosary (four senses), began to pray it, but before doing so I told God what and whom I wanted to pray for.  Soon I was thanking Him for one thing, and another... and, well.... what do you know!  I was talking with God, totally undistracted, unconcerned about anything other than Him and Him alone.  It was as if the whole entire world had disappeared. 

Well.  What do you know.   

'Come, O God of my heart,' wrote St. Gertrude, 'gather together my scattered mental powers and fix them upon Yourself.'

Thanks be to God.  He did.

Text not in quotes © 2013 Nancy Shuman.  All Rights Reserved.
thecloisteredheart.org    


This is part of a 'mini-series' of posts on walls. To continue in chronological order, click here.

The Wall of Distractions

I'd like to come back to the subject of walls.  It seems we'd just made our way through the doors of one wall, then another...  when suddenly we were "walled in prayer" for those inside the Sistine Chapel.

The doors opened, our new Holy Father emerged, and we have all been getting to know him.  Like our Sisters and Brothers behind monastic walls, we've allowed ourselves the mid-Lenten fun of white smoke, pealing bells, joyful greetings, maybe a bit of online reading (I wonder how many times our new Holy Father's name has been "googled" in the last two days?), and distractions of a prayerful kind. 

Now maybe we're returning to normal routines, going about our day-to-day lives.  Which brings me right to the next wall that I (personally) encounter most frequently when I'm trying to move closer to God in prayer.

This wall has doors, and they're right in front of me.  All I have to do is open them, but you know, it's funny.  When I get to these doors, it's like I forget why I came here.  My prayer today provides solid evidence of this fact, and if you'll forgive me for putting it as follows, I prayed something not too different from this:

"I will bless the Lord at all times; his praise shall be ever in my mailbox, which is where the book I ordered should arrive today, which is my goodness Friday already.  Oh, and I forgot to write down the time of the Easter lunch so I'd better go get my calendar while I'm thinking about it, and that reminds me, I need to call my friends and tell them the movie night needs to be rescheduled..."

I'd be willing to bet there are others out there who've had similar experiences. 

"Even our distractions can be helpful," writes Tim Gray, "as they show us what we're attached to and can signal subjects that we should submit to God." 

Lord God, thank You for showing me my attachments.  I ask you to continue shedding light on all that keeps me from moving forward in prayer.  Draw me on, in spite of and through the wall of distractions.  Help me remember that, on the other side of that wall, is a deeper encounter with YOU.

"Your Face is all lovely and Your Heart all inviting, but my thoughts alas! go wandering far from You.  Come, O God of my heart, gather together my scattered mental powers and fix them upon Yourself."  St. Gertrude

Text not in quotes © 2013 Nancy Shuman.  All Rights Reserved.
thecloisteredheart.org     

Painting: Théo Van Rysselberghe; Portret van Marguerite van Mons

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The Wall of What Ifs

As we continue drawing closer to God, asking Him to order our lives, we just might come face to face with a wall we hadn't expected. 

We've made a commitment to try to please God and to avoid sin.  We meant it when we said "God, I want to be totally Yours."  Perhaps we've prayed something along the lines of: "God I abandon myself to You completely.  Let me live as You wish, not as I want.  Do with me whatever You will......"

"Do with me whatever You will."  Most of us, when saying this, will get at least a twinge of fear.  A  touch of the what-ifs.  It's natural to feel this way.  It is part of being human. Thoughts tumble across our paths, sometimes like pebbles, sometimes with the force of a rockslide.  I want God to do with me whatever He wishes.  However,

What if He gives me a cross I can't bear?
What if He calls me to go evangelize on the other side of the earth?

And of course I could list many more, but we all know them.  What I am asked to do now is go forward in spite of anxieties, not letting fear of "what God will ask of me" throw up a wall that blocks my path. I cannot go on my own, nor do I have to. 

Jesus is the Way through the wall of what-ifs.  Going forward, I take His hand....

"If you live according to My teaching, you are truly My disciples:  then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."  (John 8:31-32)

"O Most High, when I begin to fear, in You will I trust.  In God, in whose promise I glory, in God I trust without fear; what can flesh do to me?"  (Psalm 56:3-5)

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths."  (Proverbs 3:5-6)

"Only goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever."  (Psalm 23:6)

"Dismiss all anxiety from your minds.  Present your needs to God in every form of prayer and in petitions full of gratitude.  Then God's own peace, which is beyond all understanding, will stand guard over your hearts and minds, in Christ Jesus."  (Philippians 4:6-7)

Text not in quotes © 2013 Nancy Shuman.  All Rights Reserved.
thecloisteredheart.org   

This is part of a 'mini-series' of posts on walls. To continue in chronological order, click here.

The Other Side of That Wall

If I have repented of sin, I've made more than a giant leap toward God.  I have allowed Jesus to break down walls between us and to carry me swiftly into His Presence.  

Today's post is a slightly edited version of one I wrote here over a year ago, for these words of St. Faustina give us a glimpse into what has actually happened.  If I've repented of sin, I may or may not feel any different, but the truth is:  I have been met with great love.

"I saw that God was well pleased with me and, reciprocally, my spirit drowned itself in Him.  Aware of this union with God, I felt I was especially loved and, in turn, I loved with all my soul….   And the Lord said to me, ‘You are the delight of My Heart; from today on, every one of your acts, even the very smallest, will be a delight to My eyes...'  My earthly body was the same, but my soul was different; God was now living in it with the totality of His delight.  This is not a feeling, but a conscious reality that nothing can obscure.”  (St. Faustina, Diary) 

God will not be outdone in generosity.  If I've taken even one step toward Him (no matter how timid the step, no matter how faltering), I can be sure that He is reaching out to receive me.  I am enfolded, encompassed, and totally embraced by Love.

Photo © 2010 Nancy Shuman

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Lord, Free Me of Sin

The picture of the wall on this post is not "pretty."  It isn't supposed to be.  It is here to represent the thing that walls us off most fully from connecting with God, and that thing is unspeakably ugly.  It is so ugly that our Lord Jesus suffered an excruciating death to free us from it, to break through the wall of it, so we can enter the presence of God.

I am speaking, of course, of the wall of sin.  The thick, dark, grungy wall of sin.  The sin that separates us from God, darkening our minds to the light of Christ and causing us to flee from that light as we might from a searing blaze. 

Hopefully, we are not experiencing a wall that thick as we read this.  However, I daresay many of us have known it, at one time or another, and many live in such bondage today.  It can be hard to even want to get out of it.

Such a wall, can, in time, begin to feel comfortable.  We fool ourselves into thinking of it not as the place of danger it is, but as actually something of a "safe place."  If I cannot perceive God because of this wall, maybe it works both ways (I tell myself).  Maybe He can't see ME.  Maybe He'll forget all about me, and then He won't notice that I'm living in sin.  Maybe there isn't any such thing as sin; I mean, all I have to do is turn on TV to know that "social norms" seldom recognize its reality.

I can do a lot to hide that pesky wall.  Add a bright coat of paint, plant some ivy, maybe even put up a hedge so I don't see the wall at all, in time. Sin can be made to look quite attractive and normal.  Just a spray of denial and a dulling of conscience, and I'm all set.

Except that I'm not.  I'm not set at all.  I'm walled off from God; and in my moments of honesty, I am miserable. 

If I find myself in such a spot as I read this, I don't have to stay there.  If I am in serious sin, I daresay I know it.  I might have tried fooling myself, playing some "everybody's doing it" games in my head.  But I know.

The great thing is that I don't have to break down this wall myself.  There is a hole in it.  It is not a wide hole, but it's large enough for a person to get through.  It is a hole the size of a cross.

photo attribution

"Jesus, uttering a loud cry, breathed His last.  At that moment the curtain in the sanctuary was torn in two from top to bottom."  (Mark 3-38)

"It is in Christ and through His blood that we have been redeemed and our sins forgiven.:  (Ephesians 1:7)

"If we confess our sins, He who is just can be trusted to forgive our sins and cleanse us from every wrong."  (1 John 1:9)

Lord Jesus Christ, I confess to You that I am a sinner.  In particular, I ask forgiveness for these  transgressions___________.  I am so sorry.  If my sins have been grave, help me get to the Sacrament of Reconciliation.  Give me the strength to turn away from sin and temptation, and to avoid occasions that would lead me into sin.  Thank You for Your grace and mercy.  I ask You to break down any walls of sin that keep me from You.  Jesus, I trust in You.  Amen.

"I am more generous toward sinners than toward the just.  It was for their sake that I came down from heaven; it was for their sake that My blood was spilled.  Let them not fear to approach Me; they are most in need of My mercy."  (Jesus to St. Faustina)

Text not in quotes © 2013 Nancy Shuman.  All Rights Reserved.
thecloisteredheart.org   



This is part of a 'mini'-series' of posts on walls.  To continue in chronological order, click this line.

Let's Go In

I have been thinking about walls.   I woke up today dreaming of one in particular.  I was going around and around and around it, looking for the gate in, because inside was the "interior cloister."  But somehow the gate was hidden.  My first thought was "oh no... am I outside the will of God?!"  I really didn't think so.  Not in the sense of serious sin, anyway.

But then I thought of what it truly means to be a cloistered heart.

"The word cloister speaks of total consecration..." I wrote some years ago.  "Compromise does not fit well in a cloister, nor does lukewarmness, nor does complacency.  The cloistered life is absolute."

Compromise.  Lukewarmness.  Complacency.  Have these crept into my life?  After all, I live in the world.  I interact with it daily.  And "the world is persistent in its tugs on the heart trying to live for God..."

Being one who is called by God to live in the world, am I ever at risk of becoming too attached to the multitude of distractions it offers?  As I spend time with others, when I look at a newspaper or movie or TV, am I in danger of being infected by attitudes that are in actual conflict with the will of God?  These are, of course, rhetorical questions.  I think we know the answers all too well. 

Over the next few days, I would like to look at some of the things that can wall us off from growing closer to God.  More importantly, I hope to find the way to get through those barriers.  I know "walls" have been a theme here for the last week or two.  That was unintentional on my part. 

I'm beginning to think it may not have been unintentional on God's.

"The Good Lord willing and Internet connections don't fail," I'll see you back here tomorrow.  No matter where we are on the journey, we can have stronger faith, deeper prayer, more zealous love, greater virtue, higher joy.  With such blessings as these available, why would we want to spend one more minute lazing around in the tepid waters of lukewarm faith?

God is calling each one of us into the FULLNESS of His love. 

Let's go in.

"Ask, and you will receive.  Seek, and you will find.  Knock, and it will be opened to you.   For the one who asks, receives.  The one who seeks, finds.  The one who knocks, enters..."  (Mathew 7:7-8)

Painting: Karl Julius von Leypold, Wanderer im Sturm


This is part of a 'mini'-series' of posts on walls.  To continue in chronological order, click this line.

The Unscheduled Wall

Our Internet connection has been down this afternoon.  Again I have felt as if I’ve been locked out of my blog house, and again the feeling is a strange one.

I wonder how Pope Emeritus Benedict feels today.

We humans make our plans.  We schedule blogs, lents, jobs, marriages, careers, retirement, and what we’ll have for dinner.  And each of us can point to bumps in the roads, probably in many areas, at various times in our lives.  Sometimes it feels as if a wall pops right up in the middle of our path. 

But God has given us a promise.  

Looking through the grille is seeing as God directs us to see – not as our mere human instincts dictate.   So I've been holding the following “piece of grillwork” before my eyes as I've been locked outside my bloghouse...

"We know that God makes all things work together for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His decree.”  (Romans 8:28)

I pray - and I am even seeing - that being "locked out" has resulted, in fact, in being walled more fully inside God's will.  

Caspar David Friedrich painting 

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God Has Marked the Path

'Be at peace....and walk faithfully along the path which God has marked out for you.'

St. Francis de Sales

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The Door in the Wall

God continues to surprise me.  As I've taken a deeper look at our "journey into the inner monastery," I have felt as if I'm walking around and around and around a circular building.  A building enclosed inside high walls.

I think immediately of St. Teresa's Interior Castle.  The outer "room" (first mansion) is where people try to stop offending God.  They may perform a few good works. They are free from serious sin and the King does dwell in their castle, writes Father Thomas Dubay, "but they have only a tenuous relationship with Him, and they scarcely see His light, so submerged are they in things of the world."

"What then, is the beginner to do?" asks Father.  "Most people cannot leave the world in a bodily sense, but every follower of Christ who is serious about genuine growth must leave the spirit of the world."

Truly a "cloistered heart" statement if ever I've heard one.

Thankfully, Father Dubay provides direction on how to move forward..... how to, in effect, find the door in the wall:  "The main business of the beginner, therefore, is to make a determined turnabout from preoccupation with this worldly life to a life centered in the Trinity."  (quotes above from Thomas Dubay SM, Fire Within, Ignatius, 1989, pp. 81-82; click this line for a link to the book).

At this point I would like to share, again, something a friend wrote several years ago.  Having once been in the postulancy and novitiate of a Religious Community, Rose brings a perspective I have never personally known.  

"When I left the convent...  I had this idea that prayer, holiness, and the spiritual life were for the religious vocation and hidden behind high, thick brick walls.  I longed to find a crack in that wall so I could have just a tiny taste of the spiritual life I once knew. 

"Then the Holy Spirit brought the Cloistered Heart to me.  The Cloistered Heart allowed me to squeeze through a tiny crack in that big brick wall. 
 
"I long for the fullness of all of God's promises for those who love Him to the heights.  And if that sounds presumptive, then so be it, because I know that it is meant for us all.  Not just the Religious or the saints, but for all......" (Rose)

Can I identify with Rose's words?  Am I ready to leave behind anything that walls me off from total surrender of self to God?  Am I truly serious about my relationship with Christ?

If so, then my journey into the inner cloister has begun.

Painting:  Penfold, By the Garden Door, in US public domain due to age


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(Ready?) for Surprises

I probably didn't mention what I'd originally thought of (for here) for Lent.  It had occurred to me to venture once again into our interior monastery, looking anew into particular areas and rooms and hallways, exploring what Our Lord seems to be doing in them now... this Lent.... today. 

I was surprised, therefore, by the initial idea of "catacombs." Still, I was ready to move forward.  It was going to be a different sort of adventure from our cloister journeys in the past, and I was ready for surprises.

The first surprise was when my Internet connection went down.  As you know if you followed my whines about it, the trouble was initially intermittent.  Then, for a few days, there was no connection whatsoever. 

Then began the adventure of writing letters to Jesus.   It was (and is) another way of practicing Lectio for me.  Perfect.

Then came an unusual onslaught of busyness.  Unexpected guests that arrived at the same time as expected ones, and a phone ringing at the exact same moment as the doorbell, while children bounced like rubber balls across the floor.  This happening just after a workman had spent all afternoon tracking down the Internet snag. Bedtime after 3:00 a.m that night (yes, for real). Soup that had to be made the next morning, and then two full days with beloved grandchildren who treated me to tea parties and clay-modeling and the playing of almost every board game on the shelf.

It was while chopping celery-for-soup that I sorely missed my letters to Jesus.  I'd barely started the practice, and already I was homesick for it.  A very good sign, I realized.  I was ready for the adventure to begin.

Then it hit me.  Writing to Jesus is not like writing to a friend who lives far away.  Jesus sees what I write, but He also knows my every thought.  Why not "write" Him mentally, even as I chopped?  Why not, as St. Stanislaus Kostka put it, “find a heaven in the midst of saucepans and brooms..”?

Tonight I was able to take some quality time writing (on paper) a letter.  It is heartfelt, and real, and I hope my Lord is pleased.  But I know He's just as pleased to see a stack of games waiting to be shelved, and a mostly eaten pot of soup in the fridge, and a clay "sculpture" of Larry the Cucumber proudly displayed.  

And as far as that adventure into our inner monastery?  Oh, I think even that may be part of God's plan.  

We often begin Lent with everything mapped out, wrote the nuns at Quidnunc; "And then God steps in – He sends us on detours, sometimes through very rough terrain.  We like to take the smoothly paved scenic route; He likes to go off-roading..."  I strongly suggest a reading of this excellent (very brief) article, which you can find by clicking right here. http://blog.texasnuns.com/2013/02/20/lenten-detours/ 

I'm ready (I gulp as I say it) for God's surprises.  Hope you'll be along for the ride.

Painting: Eugen von Blaas, The Eavesdropper, detail

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Letters to Jesus

'God makes all things work together for the good of those who love Him.'  I am assured of this in Romans 8:28, and over the last few days I've been seeing it (again) for myself.

Because I had no Internet connection for a few days, I began writing by hand.  Somehow that felt more comfortable than doing so in 'Word,' on the computer.  It seemed I was being led into a kind of darkness, a solitude with Jesus, in which the only light whose presence I could imagine was that of a firelit torch.  

My writings turned smoothly into letters.  I began scribbling in a regular notebook (not a journal), and lo and behold.  Before I knew it, I was writing letters to Jesus Himself.

I realized by yesterday morning that my Lenten 'exercise' is to continue writing letters to Our Lord.

Oh, but this is so much more than an exercise.  It is reality.  Jesus can 'read' what I write.  Yes, He's right here and I can talk with Him; there is no reason to write my thoughts on paper.  Except:  my mind wanders all over, at times, during prayer.  Writing helps the thoughts stay on track, or get back when they've drifted.  Writing helps me remain conscious of the One to Whom I write.  Already I'd felt drawn to pray with Scripture during Lent - and Scripture is a letter from God, after all.  How rude I would be not to answer it.

My thought at present is to spend time with the daily scriptures from Mass, reading them as one would read letters from a loved One.  And then:  to genuinely, as prayer, write back.

I'd like to share, here, some of what happens.  I will write to Our Lord by hand, but I have a feeling He won't mind (!) if I share with you, later in the day, snippets of our conversations.

Where will these go?  I have no idea.  I just know this much.  It's still personal.  And apparently getting more so all the time.....

"The Bible is a letter from Almighty God to His creatures,"  (Pope St. Gregory)

Painting:   Florent Willems, The Important Response 

Singing in the Dark

I write this quickly, concerned that my Internet connection will disappear (again).  We're presently looking into changing our whole system – for yes, it has gotten that bad. 

It’s strange not to be able to access one's blog.  I have felt like I’ve lost the key to my house. 

Ah, but this is Lent.  I had a plan, this year, to have no plans.  To pray with Scripture and simply follow where Our Lord is leading.   This, I can do.  I don’t need technology for that.  I only need a heart willing to abandon my plans in favor of God’s.

And what picture did I have in mind just before the journey began?  That of a catacomb.  In a catacomb, there would be no Internet connections.  A catacomb is, in essence, a graveyard.  I think of it as a place of refuge, where Christians hid from persecutors in years past.  But in reality, it is a tomb. 

Not a particularly cheerful image, I know; but perhaps it's the perfect one to begin my Lenten journey.  In each slot (grave) dug into the walls, I have an opportunity to place something I don’t want to remain alive in my character anymore... 

“Here lies Grumbling.”
“Here lies Whining.”
"Here lies Compromise."
“Here lies Fretting.”  
"Here lies Sloth."

I cannot get rid of these things on my own, and an Internet snag might be just the thing Our Lord is using to reveal them to me, so I can ask HIM to save me from them.  HE is THE Savior.  HE is THE only one Who can save us - save me - from sin and fault. 

Because of Him, I can rejoice in the catacombs.

Because of Him, I can sing in the dark. 

"There is cause for rejoicing here.  You may for a time have to endure the distress of many trials:  but this is so that your faith, which is more precious than the passing splendor of fire-tried gold, may by its genuineness lead to praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ appears."  (1 Peter 1:6-7)

"Rejoice in the Lord always!  I say it again.  Rejoice!  Everyone should see how unselfish you are.  The Lord is near."  (Philippians 4:4-5)

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