Why are we at the door again?
It seems I'm constantly buzzing around the doorway. I am always pondering that definitive step of surrender to God's will, and always emphasizing the fact that this is the only way into our "enclosure."
Goodness. I write and wonder and muse and analyze and analogize and write some more.
But do I ever go through?
Thinking about this today, I realized. It's true that I'm almost always at a doorway.
It's just never the same door twice.
Having given my yes to God, I am inside the door and I'm inside the "enclosure" of His will. I have made a decision, and I'm remaining (hopefully, by His grace) cloistered therein.
But I don't step into His will once and for all, then settle down inside the doorway and just stand there. There are doorways after doorways, there is hall after hall. There are doors that open onto stairways that lead to hallways that lead to more doors.
Living in the land of God's will is living in a land of doorways. My yes to God is not a one time event. That first yes led into a rather spacious hallway, and then I was called toward another door, off of which was a narrower hallway... and on and on.
Cloister of the heart is not a static 'place;' it is a land of journeying. I turn away from sin and give my heart to Jesus, then say yes to the revealed boundaries of God's will, then say a deeper yes at various points when that commitment is tested. I go through a narrower door each time I choose to live totally, not just partly, for God. I come to base my choices of lifestyle and activities on what He asks of me, not on popular culture. I accept His grace to stand for Him in the face of opposition. I learn to choose His will on happy days and sad, in sickness and in health.
Yes, I am at the door again. Why? Because I want to live "enclosed in the will of God," and mine is an enclosure of ever deepening yeses. By the grace of God, I have embarked upon a long, grand adventure, living for Him in this land of doors.
"I am ready at each beckoning of Your holy will." (St. Faustina)
"What was the first rule of our dear Savior's life?... to do His Father's will... Well then, the first end I propose in our daily work is to do the will of God; secondly, to do it in the manner He wills it; and thirdly, to do it because it is His will." (St. Elizabeth Ann Seton)
Painting: Vilhelm Hammershøi