the long dry winter

Monasteries are not drought-proof.  When skies close up and rains no longer soak the ground, monastery fields and gardens are no less subject to dryness than are any other plots of land. 

The monastery of the heart is not drought-proof, either.  Sometimes we feel as if our souls are barren, lifeless, parched.  There are days when our prayers seem to go nowhere, times when we feel that God Himself has left the universe to dry up and wither to dust.

If we’ve ever felt this way, we are not alone.  “I could neither pray nor read,” wrote St. Teresa of Avila about one such experience, “but there I remained, for hours and hours together, uneasy in mind and afflicted in spirit on account of the weight of my trouble, and of the fear that perhaps after all I was being tricked by the devil, and wondering what in the world I could do for my relief.  Not a gleam of hope seemed to shine upon me from either earth or heaven; except just this: that in the midst of all my fears and dangers I never forgot how Our Lord must be seeing the weight of all I endured….”  

So:  we’re not alone in having such experiences.  But what do we do about them?

I have found that the saints help me, in this kind of challenge, to find "the view through the grille."  

“If you do nothing else the whole time of prayer than bring your heart back and put it beside Our Lord, although each time you do so it turns away from Him, your hour will be very well employed.” (St. Francis de Sales)

“One single act done with aridity of spirit is worth more than many done with feelings of devotion.”  (St. Francis de Sales) 

“Let your prayer be very simple.  For the tax collector and the prodigal son just one word was enough to reconcile them with God.”  (St. John Climacus)

“His will is, that entering into prayer, we should be prepared to suffer the pain of continual distractions, dryness and disgust, which may come upon us, and that we should remain as constant as if we had enjoyed much peace and consolation.  It is quite certain that our prayer will be none the less pleasing to God nor less useful to ourselves, for having been made with difficulty.” (St. Francis de Sales)

Text not in quotes © 2012 Nancy Shuman.  All Rights Reserved.
thecloisteredheart.org     

Enclosed in Joy

God's will is always for my good.  While I realize that enclosure in God's will is 'confining,' I must also recognize that it is for my ultimate good.  I cannot lose sight of this truth.  God's will is not for my destruction.  Yes, He wills that sin be destroyed in me, that evil be destroyed - but this is because sin harms me.  God's will shall bring me joy.  This does not mean it will bring me pleasure at every moment, but ultimately it will bring me into the fullness of joy.  And so, surrender to God's will should not be a gloomy kind of thing, but a giving of myself with joy.  

No illness, financial collapse, or political circumstance can take Jesus from me.  Nothing can remove Him, for He is in my heart.  I possess the very satisfaction that all are seeking and that no one can really find without finding Him. 

In cloistering my heart, I must remember that cloistered life is meant to be a life of joy as total as one can find on earth.  
                             
(adapted from Cloistered Heart book)  

Text © 2012 Nancy Shuman.  All Rights Reserved.
thecloisteredheart.org   

prayer in the hallway

I have been blessed to go on retreat, several times, to monasteries.  I loved being in my tiny cell, “alone” with God yet aware of the silent presence of others.  I was with God, others were with God - and we were all connected.  A wide hall linked us together.

As one who wants to live for God in the cell of my heart, I am grateful for every one of you  doing likewise. I may not know each person in every other “cell,” but I can stop and remind myself that they… that you… are there.  Ours is the hallway of the Church.  Ours is the hallway of the Body of Christ.  My heart cell is part of a multitude of “cells,” part of the vast and ageless Communion of Saints.  “All, indeed, who are of Christ and who have His Spirit, form one Church and in Christ cleave together.” (Catechism of the Catholic Church #954).  

Our hallway is not limited by geographical location.  It is wide and vast and stretches beyond the ages, connecting us to all in the Communion of Saints in ways we can scarcely grasp.

Today, thinking about this and praying for you - and yes, I do - I had an idea (I actually think it was an inspiration).  What if everyone reading this takes just a minute, a second, the length of a mental aspiration – to pray for everyone else who is reading this?  We don’t know who each other is… but God does.  He knows every one of us individually.  He loves each of us beyond all imagining.  He cares about every one of our stresses and worries and needs.  

So: today you’re invited to “stretch a prayer across the hallway.”  It can be oh, so quick.  Maybe something along the lines of “Lord Jesus, please bless everyone who has or will read this.”  Imagine the prayers we will thus be extending across the globe!  

I, as one of the recipients of your prayers, thank you with all my heart.  I ask our Lord Jesus to bless you… you personally… you who are reading these words.  I pray that He will let you know how deeply you are cherished by Him.  

Amen.  

“The children of the world are all separated one from another because their hearts are in different places; but the children of God, having their heart where their treasure is, and all having only one treasure which is the same God, are consequently always joined and united together.”  (St. Francis de Sales)

Text not in quotes © 2012 Nancy Shuman.  All Rights Reserved.
thecloisteredheart.org      

cause for rejoicing here

A friend recently wrote:  "I was thinking how good it is that we have 'salesmen' and things that 'bang on the grille' for our attention. This means that the cloister, this way of life, is REAL. Were there not difficulties, dryness, repulsions, it would just be a nice idea - a human idea. Thanks be to God for the temptations and the noise - for it is by these that we are made humble and are given a sign that the work is hated by the evil one - a true mark that if we are faithful to it, to Christ, in times of difficulty, the effects of grace will extend far beyond our imaginings..." (from J.)
 

"There is cause for rejoicing here.  You may for a time have to suffer the distress of many trials; but this is so that your faith, which is more precious than the passing splendor of fire-tried gold, may by its genuineness lead to praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ appears."  (1 Peter. 1:6-7)

 

There are salesmen in our foyer.  They don't just call to us, they bang on the grille.  They remind us that there are difficulties in life, they throw dryness and temptations at us.  Their presence, as my friend says, is a mark that IF we are faithful to Christ, the effects of grace will extend FAR beyond our imaginings.

We have cause to rejoice.

Text not in quotes © 2012 Nancy Shuman.  All Rights Reserved.
thecloisteredheart.org      

salesmen in the foyer

The monastery foyer is where visitors enter to be greeted through a grille.  In the analogy of the cloistered heart, I think of the foyer as my mind.  It's where thoughts come in requesting admittance.  Ideally, good and virtuous thoughts are allowed to linger.  Mean, condemning, fearful, evil thoughts are shown the door.  At least, that is the ideal.

We all know it's not that simple.

I think of unholy, unkind, worrying thoughts as "salesmen in the foyer."  They generally enter unbidden, although I often do invite them (even if unintentionally) by what I read, listen to, view.  They trail in on the coattails of family members; they hitchhike in magazine pages; their voices thread through memories I entertain.  They stand in the foyer, opening their catalogs of old regrets and new fears and future dreads.  

Recently there was a convention in my foyer.  I didn't recognize "the salesmen" at first, and by the time I realized who they were and what was happening, I was already quite mired down.  I had forgotten there was a grille between us, and I'd focused my eyes right between the grille-bars so I could plainly see the wares being offered. And then I remembered my grille.  I will admit to finding it hard, at first, to step back and take a look THROUGH it... after all, the catalogs of worries laid out before me were remarkably compelling.  Part of me wanted to continue my unobstructed view.  But then I picked up my Bible and opened it to a "bar of my grillwork....." 

"Praised be the Lord, I exclaim, and I am safe from my enemies."  (Psalm 18:4) 

I cannot describe the sense of relief that flooded me as I not only read these words, but began to put them into practice.  I wasn't feeling physically up to par, I'd been bombarded by worries and stresses..... but still, I could praise the Lord!  Nothing should be able to prevent that!  Every salesman on earth might be standing in my "foyer," but I could make the decision to praise God.  Each time a worry trickled in, I could actually let it serve as a reminder to give thanks and praise to God. 

"Praised be the Lord, I exclaim"... and so I do. 

...and I am safe from my enemies."  And so I am.

Text not in quotes © 2011 Nancy Shuman.  All Rights Reserved.
thecloisteredheart.org