Revisiting Rose

The following from our friend Rose remains our most popular post of all time:

'I had this idea that prayer, holiness, and the spiritual life were for the religious vocation and hidden behind high, thick brick walls. I longed to find a crack in that wall so I could have just a tiny taste of the spiritual life I once knew.  

'Then the Holy Spirit brought the Cloistered Heart to me.  The Cloistered Heart allowed me to squeeze through a tiny crack in that big brick wall. 

'I long for the fullness of all of God's promises for those who love Him to the heights. And if that sounds presumptive, then so be it, because I know that it is meant for us all. Not just the Religious or the saints, but for all......"(Rose)

Rose was once a novice in a religious order and discerned that such was not her vocation. She went on to marry and have a large family.  

This is a repost from our archives. It is linked to Reconciled to You and Theology is a Verb for 'It's Worth Revisiting Wednesday.'  

The Dazzling Simplicity of Lectio

What a gift God has given us in Scripture.  What a blessing He continues to give as He opens our hearts to His Word, shedding light into all our dark corners, giving us personal love and peace and truth.  

Yesterday I had a touch of "lectio" without a Bible in front of me.  Having spent a fair amount of time with Scripture over the years, I'm privileged to now have some key chapters committed to memory.  Memorization is something I'm glad to have in my "box of prayer tools" when I find myself with time to pray but no access to a Bible - like once when I was lying in an MRI tube.

With a bit of time to myself (yesterday) but no Bible at hand, I began praying with lines I'd memorized from John's Gospel.  When I came to John 1:5, where it speaks of the Light shining on in darkness, a darkness that has not overcome it, I felt a touch of peace.  No matter what darkness may seem to be around - in the world, the media, my nation or my life - the Light of Christ is shining in the very midst of it.  I was struck by the words "in darkness."  Darkness may indeed be lurking, but His Light is there.

It was a simple exchange, a conversation between my Lord and me... but lectio does not have to be complicated.  Day to day interactions between loved ones are generally not complicated either; sometimes it's wonderful to just bask in each other's presence.

"Today I sat quiet and just opened up to some scripture," wrote one of you, "staying with words from a commentary on the scripture that I was reading.... to 'bask in His Love.'  I reflected on these words......so I  basked in His Love.....like a cat basking in the Sun of a Winter Day!" - Anita 

"I found myself with a few quiet moments this afternoon," wrote our friend Rose, "so I decided to try a little lectio.  I found a nice sunny spot on the front porch where I could soak up the sunshine.  I closed my eyes, placing myself in the presence of God, feeling His presence in the warmth of the sun.  I picked up my missal and read the readings for today's Mass.  Nothing in the Epistle struck me; but, oh the Responsorial and the Gospel.  The  Responsorial was the Psalm about 'Lord, you know me.  You know when I sit and when I stand.  You knit me in my mother's womb.'  That was followed by the Gospel story of Mary and Martha.  WOW!  Did all of this ever speak to me right now, right where I stand spiritually.  I felt like God was saying, 'I know all about you.  I know how busy you are. I know all that you do. I know it is good to cook and clean and do all that you do but can't you give me a

little Mary time?'  So, I gave God a little Mary time.  And it was wonderful.  I ended my prayer time by taking a nice long walk back to the woods, praying a rosary along the way, singing hymns on my way back.  I arrived back home totally refreshed and ready for two little granddaughters to come play with me for a couple of hours.  What a blessed afternoon." - Rose 

"With these beautiful experiences in mind, I will quote something written on this blog awhile ago, when I spoke of "the dazzling simplicity of Lectio... 

"It does not have to be complicated.  It is God meeting man, God speaking to man. It is the written word of God becoming a fresh, vital, personal, breathed-forth-for-me-at-this-moment word of God.  It is loving, intimate, real.  It is when inspired words of God ring from the page or out of the mouth of a reader and are spoken to ME, here and now. It is my response to the Voice of God as I thank, talk with, love, adore."

May He continue granting us graces to thank, talk with, love, adore.

This is a repost from our archives. It is linked to Reconciled to You and Theology is a Verb for 'It's Worth Revisiting Wednesday.'

© 2012 Nancy Shuman.
thecloisteredheart.org     

Let's Celebrate!

Five years ago today, I put the first Cloistered Heart post here, in this little cloistered corner of the Internet. I had no idea what to expect. The basic ideas and analogies of the Cloistered Heart were already more than twenty years old by that time... could they be squeezed into blog posts? Come to think of it, what was a blog post anyway? I had virtually no idea.

What I did have was an inspiration "to set up a website," and that seemed to be from God. I had the help of a computer-educated son who knew enough about blogs to set me up with a template. I knew others who were striving to live in the world with "cloistered hearts," and who were willing to follow along with what I wrote and give input. And I had friends like Rose.

You might remember Rose.  She has shared some special insights with us. In fact, this morning I looked at five years' worth of blog statistics and - just as I suspected - the "most viewed post" on this site has remained the all time favorite of readers since shortly after it was posted. Seeing that, I decided to have a bit of fun.

Here is a link (and an 'award for the writer') for your all time favorite post!!!
(ta-daaaaaaa) 
How Are We Living Monasticism of the Heart?

And to everyone here: thank you for your kind comments, your friendship, your companionship, your prayers over these last five years. You really have no idea what a gift you are to me. I just ask God to let you know.

Oh, and by the way - captchas (those annoying things we have to decipher before we can comment on websites) are removed from here for the time being - so leaving a comment shouldn't be much trouble.

If you have a minute, stop and say hi!

What if I'm Hit by a Truck?

Cloister of the heart is nothing if not portable.  Our hearts can be cloistered in airplanes or subways, on beaches and in cars.  Or, as our friend Rose experienced several years ago, when we're being hit by a truck.

    "As I was crossing the street," Rose wrote in a letter, "a big red truck rounded the corner and hit me. The impact sounded like a terrible explosion, and I was thrown to the ground. The police and ambulance came, they strapped me onto the stretcher, and we were off to the hospital.
     It was frightening, but I felt very calm. The fact that I was alive just overwhelmed me. As I lay flat on my back in the emergency room, just staring at the ceiling, I had time to think. My first thoughts were that if I had died - what were my last words? I thought back. I was in a restaurant. I had gone up to the counter and thanked the owner for the nice lunch. This made me feel good, to realize that my last words would have been nice ones. For some reason, that was very important to me. 
     Then I began to ask myself that if I had died, would I have been prepared to meet God for judgment. I thought of my many failings and imperfections that need correcting. I thought of things I can do better in my life. But then: I thought of my morning Mass and Holy Communion. I thought of the time I'd just spent being present to my God only hours before. Would it be terrible for me to admit that at that moment I felt a disappointment that I hadn't died? That I was loving God so much that I really would have liked to have been with Him that very morning?
     As these thoughts were going through my head, my husband came over and took my hand. I looked into his eyes and saw so much love and concern. Then I knew that God knows my husband and children need me and this just wasn't the time for me to leave them. God must have more work for me to do on this earth before He calls me home.

     All afternoon my heart seemed wrapped in prayer. I thanked God over and over for the gift of guardian angels and for His loving care. How can I possibly explain the joy in my heart for the things of God within me when I had just been hit by a truck? It seemed ironic, but my heart was so full of gratefulness and joy. Now I pray 'I offer every beat of my heart as loving alleluias of thankfulness and praise!'
     My sister asked me if this incident has changed my perspective on life any. No, it hasn't. I have always realized that death could come at any time and I have always tried to live my life in this light. It just confirms all that I have always thought and felt.
    One consolation for me was to realize that when faced with the idea that I could have been killed, I was not scared for my soul. I honestly felt that I could have accepted it, embraced it, willingly and with joy.
     I don't know why that truck hit me. I don't know what God has planned for me. I feel a peace and a joy that are unexplainable.
     I want to sing alleluias all day long."
     from a letter by Rose (used with her permission)

This is not the first time we've shared something from Rose here. Click the following titles for more...

Squeezing Through the Crack

When We Feel the Grillwork Crumbling




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thecloisteredheart.org

Squeezing Through the Crack

Wanting to live 'a little above and more than earth,' I've looked back over letters from someone who spent several cloistered years discerning a possible Religious vocation. As it turned out, that was not what God had for her; instead, He called her out of the convent and (later) into married life. After reading an early article on The Cloistered Heart, Rose had the following thoughts to share:  

'I had this idea that prayer, holiness, and the spiritual life were for the religious vocation and hidden behind high, thick brick walls.  I longed to find a crack in that wall so I could have just a tiny taste of the spiritual life I once knew.  Then the Holy Spirit brought the Cloistered Heart to me.  The Cloistered Heart allowed me to squeeze through a tiny crack in that big brick wall.  I long for the fullness of all of God's promises for those who love Him to the heights.  And if that sounds presumptive, then so be it, because I know that it is meant for us all.  Not just the Religious or the saints, but for all.....' (from a letter by Rose)

'Some people might think it contradictory to speak of 'contemplative' in the same sentence as 'mother of a very large family.'  But it is the contemplative spirit that has helped me survive the chaos that is natural when raising a number of children.... The cloister in my heart is a place of refuge.  It is a place where I can retreat from the world no matter where I am; in the middle of a crowded mall, or in a busy grocery store, or in my own kitchen.' (Rose)

'I remember reading that obedience to one's superior is more meritorious than all the self-imposed mortifications, fastings and prayers. Then I realized my superior is really my vocation as a wife and mother. Therefore, my duties and responsibilities of motherhood must come first. And, done with the right intentions (as St. Francis de Sales says, 'for the greater glory of God'), all my actions are lifted up in prayer.' (Rose)
 

A Homemaker's Vespers

While our Sisters and Brothers in monasteries are chanting Vespers (usually between 4:30 and 6:00 pm), we who live 'in the world' may well be in the busiest time of our day. The world, at Vespers-time, is right in the middle of rush hour. It is when many are leaving work, pouring into roads and trains to make the journey home. Some of us are preparing an evening meal, knowing that growling tummies will not be soothed if we hide away in prayer corners to sing and chant praise.

So we do what must be done. Many times we're content to be exactly where we are. Sometimes, however, the grass can look greener inside the monastic fence, and I will admit that 'rush hour,' for me, is a time when my own grass can seem seriously withered. This is due in large part (for me) to a kind of physical and mental lagginess that tends to hit in late afternoon, and has for as long as I can remember.  It's the time of day when I'm tired, draggy, and most likely to feel, well: grumbly.  

Through the years, I've learned that I am not the only person to be washed out at that time. Yet this is when people have to get themselves home from work, food must be prepared, and children may need a bit of extra referee-ing.

When the body is exhausted and the mind is reeling from a day's work, even the humdrum tasks of late afternoon can seem immense. 'I remember reading,' said our friend Rose some time ago, 'that obedience to one's superior is more meritorious than all the self-imposed mortifications, fastings and prayers. Then I realized my superior is really my vocation as a wife and mother. Therefore, my duties and responsibilities of motherhood must come first. And, done with the right intentions (as St. Francis de Sales says, 'for the greater glory of God'), all my actions are lifted up in prayer.'

Those in a cloister come to Vespers out of obedience. They gather to pray when they feel like doing so, and when they do not.  

When my day starts to bend toward evening, it is time for a particular kind of 'Vespers.'  It's a time when I can offer my duties, my care for those around me, any rush-hour hassles I may face, and even my own dragginess, to God.  

By being made into an offering, these can become my evening prayer.

'Some people might think it contradictory to speak of 'contemplative' in the same sentence as 'mother of a very large family.' But it is the contemplative spirit that has helped me survive the chaos that is natural when raising a number of children.... The cloister in my heart is a place of refuge.  It is a place where I can retreat from the world no matter where I am; in the middle of a crowded mall, or in a busy grocery store, or in my own kitchen.' - Rose

© 2012 and 2015 Nancy Shuman
thecloisteredheart.org      

Painting by Von Bornin

This is a repost from our archives. It is linked to Reconciled to You and Theology is a Verb for 'It's Worth Revisiting Wednesday.' 

The Secret Behind Ironing

From a letter from our friend Rose:

'Ironing is the chore that always makes me feel closest to God. When I've done prayerful writing lately, it has been as a result of my reflections while I was ironing in front of my big windows, looking out over the fields behind our house.

My mother loved to iron. There were five of us little girls, all in a row, and my mother took great delight in ironing our little dresses with all the frills and lace and trim.

It wasn't until I had my own family that I discovered the secret behind ironing. It's a chore that must be done, yet it frees the mind to tend to things of the heart and soul while the hands keep busy.

I wonder if this is why my mother always seemed to smile while she ironed.....'


'We must try to converse with God in little ways while we do our work.' (Brother Lawrence) 

Painting: Edgar Degas

When We Feel the Grillwork Crumbling

Your response to a recent sharing from our friend Rose has been remarkable.  Only a month after being posted, what she shared about living as a 'cloistered heart' in a large, busy family has become our most viewed post of all time.  It is a well deserved position.  Rose has a lot of wisdom from which we can benefit.

Rose wrote the following in a letter some years ago.  It gives me hope, and reminds me that I don't have to just sit in a muddle of misery when I start to lose sight of my own view through the grille.  

'For several weeks I have felt the world reaching through my grille.  It seemed as though family, home and school were like tentacles groping and grabbing at me.  They tugged at me bit by bit through the open squares of my grille.  Only my soul still clung to the cloister in my heart.  

Yesterday my heart could no longer stand the outside forces.  My grillwork crumbled.  My mind and heart and soul crashed through to the world... I was discouraged.  I wanted to break down in tears.  Everything inside of me hurt.

This morning is a new day.  I have turned my sorrow over to God. My soul longs to return to the cloister of my heart.  I am ready to begin to reconstruct the grille.  I must first put my feelings and opinions, my hurts and emotions aside.  I must bury them all in the Heart of Jesus and let the fire of His love consume them...

It would be easier to return to the cloister in my heart if I could just hide away for a short time to pull myself back together spiritually.  But keeping the cloister in our hearts in the midst of the world and its confusions is what we strive for, so I guess I need to heal my cloister and rebuild my grille in the midst of all that confusion.  

Yesterday and today I have made my start.'   

- from Rose

Painting:  Die Gartenlaube, 1885, in US public domain due to age

For more about the cloistered heart grille, click this line

How are we Living Monasticism of the Heart?

"I had this idea that prayer, holiness, and the spiritual life were for the religious vocation and hidden behind high, thick brick walls.  I longed to find a crack in that wall so I could have just a tiny taste of the spiritual life I once knew.  Then the Holy Spirit brought the Cloistered Heart to me.  The Cloistered Heart allowed me to squeeze through a tiny crack in that big brick wall.  I long for the fullness of all of God's promises for those who love Him to the heights.  And if that sounds presumptive, then so be it, because I know that it is meant for us all.  Not just the Religious or the saints, but for all......"(from a letter by our friend Rose)

"Some people might think it contradictory to speak of 'contemplative' in the same sentence as 'mother of a very large family.'  But it is the contemplative spirit that has helped me survive the chaos that is natural when raising a number of children.... The cloister in my heart is a place of refuge.  It is a place where I can retreat from the world no matter where I am; in the middle of a crowded mall, or in a busy grocery store, or in my own kitchen." (Rose)

Painting:  Gustav Wentzel Frokost, in US public domain due to age        

 thecloisteredheart.org                         



To return to the 'Monastic Adventure in Sequence' post, click here

The Door in the Wall

God continues to surprise me.  As I've taken a deeper look at our "journey into the inner monastery," I have felt as if I'm walking around and around and around a circular building.  A building enclosed inside high walls.

I think immediately of St. Teresa's Interior Castle.  The outer "room" (first mansion) is where people try to stop offending God.  They may perform a few good works. They are free from serious sin and the King does dwell in their castle, writes Father Thomas Dubay, "but they have only a tenuous relationship with Him, and they scarcely see His light, so submerged are they in things of the world."

"What then, is the beginner to do?" asks Father.  "Most people cannot leave the world in a bodily sense, but every follower of Christ who is serious about genuine growth must leave the spirit of the world."

Truly a "cloistered heart" statement if ever I've heard one.

Thankfully, Father Dubay provides direction on how to move forward..... how to, in effect, find the door in the wall:  "The main business of the beginner, therefore, is to make a determined turnabout from preoccupation with this worldly life to a life centered in the Trinity."  (quotes above from Thomas Dubay SM, Fire Within, Ignatius, 1989, pp. 81-82; click this line for a link to the book).

At this point I would like to share, again, something a friend wrote several years ago.  Having once been in the postulancy and novitiate of a Religious Community, Rose brings a perspective I have never personally known.  

"When I left the convent...  I had this idea that prayer, holiness, and the spiritual life were for the religious vocation and hidden behind high, thick brick walls.  I longed to find a crack in that wall so I could have just a tiny taste of the spiritual life I once knew. 

"Then the Holy Spirit brought the Cloistered Heart to me.  The Cloistered Heart allowed me to squeeze through a tiny crack in that big brick wall. 
 
"I long for the fullness of all of God's promises for those who love Him to the heights.  And if that sounds presumptive, then so be it, because I know that it is meant for us all.  Not just the Religious or the saints, but for all......" (Rose)

Can I identify with Rose's words?  Am I ready to leave behind anything that walls me off from total surrender of self to God?  Am I truly serious about my relationship with Christ?

If so, then my journey into the inner cloister has begun.

Painting:  Penfold, By the Garden Door, in US public domain due to age


This post begins a 'mini-series' on walls. To continue, click here