Revisiting Boundaries

I am enclosed within the will of God.  It is a sweet thought, isn't it?  I have chosen to live within the boundaries of God's will as these have already been built for me, to protect me.  God has given Scripture and Church teaching to show me the boundaries...  to fence me in, so to speak.  If I remain within this enclosure, I am safe from spiritual harm.

But oh, the world outside God's will can look so appealing.  Those who live out there, "free" of the constraints imposed by the "thou shalts" and the "thou shalt nots"... well, they appear to be pretty happy.  They're choosing their own paths without regard to God, and sometimes making sport of those who try to live according to Church teaching. They're telling bawdy stories, drinking to excess, and engaging in behavior that the Bible and the Church clearly assure us is wrong.  This is the way the world is today, we're often told. Anyone who doesn't keep up is a killjoy.

If I'm not inclined to join in some of these particular out-of-enclosure-frolics, I may have other temptations.  To gossip, perhaps. To be unkind. To speak harshly, be slothful, give in to anger, be self-focused... oh, how the list goes on.  The world outside God's will can at times look awfully appealing.  And after all, I'm not sealed up in a cage.  There's no lock on my enclosure wall....

Day by day, I have a choice to make.  A choice not just to enter "the enclosure of God's will" once and for all - but to remain within it.  Whether or not I actually venture outside my enclosure, I do find myself craning my neck (all too often) to see how green the grass looks on the other side.

I find that the only hopes for me are prayer, reliance upon grace, and determination to accept God's help to avoid what used to be called "near occasions of sin."

Which are much nearer to us than they were a few decades ago. And they are still tailor made to kill true joy. 

"Do not conform yourselves to this age, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, so that you may judge what is God's will, what is good, pleasing and perfect."  (Romans 12:2)

This is a slightly edited repost from 2012. It is being linked with Theology Is A Verb and Reconciled To You for 'It’s Worth Revisiting Wednesday'         

Text not in quotes © 2012 - 2015 Nancy Shuman
thecloisteredheart.org  

Painting: Jehan Georges Vibert, Sneaking a Peek 

A Way Through That Wall

Picture Attribution

I never want to be separated from the love of God. So I'm thankful to have the following as a vital piece of my grillwork:  "I am certain that neither death nor life, neither angels nor principalities, neither the present nor the future, nor powers, neither height nor depth nor any other creature, will be able to separate us from the love of God that comes to us in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:38-39)

I read these words a second time, and a third, and I let their power wash over me.  Time cannot conquer this astonishing love, death itself cannot separate me from it. No distance anywhere will ever be too far.

However, if I look closely at the "grille" (Scripture and the teachings of the Church), I do find one specific thing that can put a wall between me and the love of God.

"Sin sets itself against God's love for us and turns our hearts away from it. Like the first sin, it is disobedience, a revolt against God through the will to become 'like gods,' knowing and determining good and evil. Sin is thus 'love of oneself even to contempt of God.' In this proud self-exaltation, sin is diametrically opposed to the obedience of Jesus, which achieves our salvation." (Catechism of the Catholic Church n.1850)

"If we say, 'we are free of the guilt of sin,' we deceive ourselves; the truth is not to be found in us. But if we acknowledge our sins, He who is just can be trusted to forgive our sins and cleanse us from every wrong." (1 John 1:8-9)

"If I cannot perceive God because of sin," I wrote here several years ago, "maybe it works both ways. Maybe He can't see ME.  Maybe He'll forget all about me, and then He won't notice that I'm living in sin. Maybe there isn't any such thing as sin; I mean, all I have to do is turn on TV to know that today's 'social norms' do not even seem to recognize its reality. 

"I can do a lot to hide that pesky wall. Add a bright coat of paint, plant some ivy, maybe even put up a hedge so I don't see the wall at all, in time. Sin can be made to look quite attractive and normal.  Just a spray of denial and a dulling of conscience, and I'm all set. 

"Except that I'm not.  I'm not set at all.  I'm walled off from God; and in my moments of honesty, I am miserable.  If I find myself in such a spot, I don't have to stay there.  If I am in serious sin, I daresay I know it. I might have tried fooling myself, playing some 'everybody's doing it' games in my head.  But I know...."

Thank God, there is a way through that wall. "If we confess our sins, He who is just can be trusted to forgive our sins and cleanse us from every wrong."  (1 John 1:9)

Lord Jesus Christ, I confess to You that I am a sinner.  In particular, I ask forgiveness for these  transgressions___________.  I am so sorry.  If my sins have been grave, help me get to the Sacrament of Reconciliation.  Give me the strength to turn away from sin and temptation, and to avoid occasions that would lead me into sin.  Thank You for Your grace and mercy.  I ask You to break down any walls of sin that keep me from You.  Jesus, I trust in You.  Amen.

Painting: Artgate Fondazione Cariplo - Molteni Giuseppe, La confessione, courtesy of Wikimedia. Click here for link.

What a Simple Thought

I needed a touch of comfort overnight. A power outage plunged the house into darkness, sending us in search of flashlights we could not find.

I recalled having written, yesterday, of a "wall" between me and the publishing of a blog post (this due to a computer glitch). I had realized the wall was not between me and God. What a simple thought, and what a real one. It's a thought I found, in the dark of a cold night, to be as comforting and protecting as a soft, warm cloak.

Storms may rage and plunge the world around into darkness. But not one storm can place a wall between me and God.

"Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no fruit, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights." (Habakkuk 3:17-19)

"We know that God makes all things work together for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his decree." (Romans 8:28)

Painting: Vasnetsov Snegurochka
 

And Our Walls Are ...

The will of God is prime spiritual real estate.  It is the safest, most secure “place” in which a person can dwell. 

In order to live within this refuge, however, we must embrace its walls.
   
The primary perimeters of God's will are not at all hard to find. They are revealed in Scripture and outlined clearly in the Catechism of the Catholic Church.   

Because God loves us, He has set these boundaries in place for our security, and He has generously revealed them to us. 
 
"Live in My will,” God tells me.  “Live in My will when you understand it and when you do not.  Trust ME." 

In the face of such an invitation, I have a choice to make.  I am issued this invitation not just once, but in circumstance after circumstance, day after day. 
 
Will I dwell in the security of God’s will? 

Or must I insist on stumbling about in the hazards of my own. 

“You who dwell in the shelter of the Most High, who abide in the shadow of the Almighty, say to the Lord:  ‘my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.’”  (Psalm 91:1-2)

“You must know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is within - the Spirit you have received from God.  You are not your own.  You have been purchased, and at a price!  So glorify God in your body.” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20) 

(This is a re-post from 2012)

Text © 2012 Nancy Shuman.  All Rights Reserved.
thecloisteredheart.org  

The Way Through the Walls

Of all the 'series' done on this blog, I've probably gotten the most (personally) from the one on 'walls,' done in Lent of 2013.

I would like the opportunity to go through those reflections again, asking God to lead me, to free me of sin, to heal me of distractions and 'what ifs' - and of anything that may have put a wall between me and Him.

In order to go back through this, I am again linking these posts in chronological order.  If you would like to join in re-visiting these, click this line (or the link below) to open the first post. There will be a line at the bottom of that post, linking it to the next one in the sequence.  And on and on. The links are all to posts within this one blog.

In case anyone might like to re-visit any one particular 'wall,' I am also including the list of posts here, individually.  Clicking any line below will take you directly to that post.

I pray that our Lord, Jesus Christ, will open our hearts wide to His love!


The Door in the Wall

Let's Go In

Lord, Free Me of Sin

The Other Side of That Wall

The Wall of What Ifs

The Wall of Distractions

Sometimes We Need a Little Help

With God's Help, I Can Scale Any Wall

Grabbing the Ropes

I Ask You

The Shattered Wall



To begin the entire series on walls, click here


Photo on this post by C Wells 

This post is linked to Catholic Bloggers Network Linkup

In the Monastery Garden

The cloister garden is a place of refreshment.  Whether the monastery is snuggled amid rolling hills or surrounded by a bustling city, its garden is a peaceful oasis - a place where nuns or monks cherish and nurture the handiwork of God. 

In summer, cloister gardens are in full bloom.  Droughts alternate with downpours, weeds are continually battled, pests must be put to flight lest they harm delicate blossoms.  The pastels of spring have deepened, now, into darker shades.  It's a time of heat and heady fragrance, busy bees and fireflies and cicadas, crackles of thunder and balmy nights.

'Have good courage to cultivate this vineyard, contributing your little effort to the spiritual good of the souls that the Lord has reserved for Himself lest they bend their knees before Baal.. in the midst of a people that has unclean lips.  Do not be surprised if the fruits do not yet appear, because if you do the work of God patiently, your labor will not be in vain.'  (St. Francis de Sales)

Shall we visit a cloister garden?

A Monastery Garden Tour (with the Passionist Nuns)   

None Should Mow the Grass There   






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Photo at top of post by N Shuman 





For a look into our own inner gardens, click this line 

Walls Within

When a potential postulant enters a monastery, she is shown the boundaries within which she's to live.  These have already been defined; she does not have to bring her own bricks and mortar and build them herself.  

As a Catholic Christian, I also have boundaries.  I do not have to map them out; they are clearly provided for me in Scripture and in 2,000 years of authentic Church discernment.

I know I've been repeating myself on this point.  Probably I'm beginning to sound like a cloistered parrot, mimicking my own words over and over.  But this is something the culture around does not tell us.  We won't switch on television and hear it; in fact, often we'll be shown its very opposite.  

In order to recognize the walls of God's truth and thus be able to live within their protection, we must be able to see them.  This seeing is not always easy, especially when the "walls" are viewed against a backdrop of cultural norms.  

There is goodness outside the walls as well as within, and we can participate in the goodness.  Still, we must learn to discern where the walls within are rising up to warn us: "this is good, but not that."  

God's intention is not to wall us off from people.  His intention is to protect us (and them) from temporal and eternal harm.

Life inside the walls of a monastery is counter-cultural.  If we live inside the boundaries of God's revealed will, our lives are often counter-cultural as well.  

"Love your enemies; do good to those who hate you: and pray for them that persecute and calumniate you."  (Matthew 5:44) 

"Blest shall you be when men hate you, when they ostracize you and insult you and proscribe your name as evil because of the Son of Man.  On the day they do so, rejoice and exult, for your reward shall be great in heaven." (Luke 6:22-23)

"Whosoever shall look on a woman to lust after her, has already committed adultery with her in his heart."  (Matthew 5:28)

"We demolish sophistries and every proud pretension that raises itself against the knowledge of God; we likewise bring every thought into captivity to make it obedient to Christ."  (2 Corinthians 10:5)

"Be on guard lest your spirits become bloated with indulgence and drunkeness and worldly cares."  (Luke 21:34)

"Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."  (Romans 12:20) 

"Count it all joy, my brethren, when you meet various trials, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness."  (James 1:2)

"Rejoice in the Lord always!  I say it again.  Rejoice!" (Philippians 4:4)  

Photos on this post © Nancy Shuman

Test not in quotes © 2014 Nancy Shuman.  All Rights Reserved.
thecloisteredheart.org    



To look further inside our 'walls,' click here 

 

Apart from the World, Inside Boundaries

A potential nun does not march into the monastery announcing which boundaries she will or will not accept.

"This wall of the enclosure suits me, but I'm not comfortable with that one..."  No, she does not say it.  

Or if she does, she is told that her vocation is elsewhere.  These are the boundaries of this monastery, she is told; these are the walls beyond which those called to serve God here do not go.  

The boundaries are important to those in a physical monastery.  They are important to those in a "spiritual" one as well, which we will discuss next time.  

For now, let's take another swift glance at the physical enclosure.  

"If Christ's love is the enclosure wall... He encloses you; He IS the enclosure.  So it is the most spacious place in all the world." 

"And whereas some think that we are immured behind walls, we know the walls as simply a beautiful expression of our immersion in Christ our Lord."

Above quotes from Mother Mary Francis PCC, from the booklet "Walls Around the World"

(Advertisements on any videos shared are NOT chosen nor endorsed by me) 

A beautiful link:
A Divine Enclosure Set Round Our Hearts 

Photo at top of post:  Visitation Monastery Mobile, Alabama; public domain photo, digitally enhanced




For a look at our own boundaries, click this line


 

Cherished

'What is 'ecclesiastical legislation' regarding papal enclosure?  It is precisely the arms of the Church cherishing her contemplatives.  And thus, if an enclosed nun is encouraged to rebel at 'strictures,' she will let her smiling silence itself best explain that she is not incarcerated but cherished.  For her, 'legislation' pertains to the realization that the arms of the Church are around her.  And she rejoices, as any normal woman rejoices, to be held in loving arms.  She has penetrated beneath the level of 'legislation' as restrictive or prohibitive to the understanding of how love, of its nature, seeks to safeguard the beloved.  Thus her understanding of ecclesiastical legislation on her cloistered life is expressed in the cry of the psalmist:  'how I love Your law, O Lord!' (Psalm 119).' (Mother Mary Francis PCC, 'The King's Rooms,' copyright Poor Clare Monastery of Our Lady of Guadalupe.  This booklet may be ordered by clicking this link)   

The will of God is the safest, most secure place in which a person can dwell.  In order to live within this place of refuge, however, we must accept Our Lord's invitation to embrace its boundaries.  The primary perimeters of God's will are not hard to find.  They are revealed in Scripture and outlined clearly in the Catechism of the Catholic Church.   

Because God loves us, He has set these boundaries in place for our security, and He has generously revealed them to us.  
 
We are cherished.

Painting:  William Adolphe Bouguereau, The Proposal, 1872


Click here to comment in the Parlor   

I Re-Choose the Wall

What follows is an edited re-post from our archives.  I find I need to be reminded of this, and often.  Day by day, in circumstance after circumstance, I am called to re-choose the wall. 

Living within the will of God, making a specific choice to do so, can be a pleasant thing to talk about.  It's nice to write of, good to meditate upon, and the idea fits well in the pages of a cloistered heart blog.

It's just a bit different when it comes to the doing of it.  Oh, it's not so bad when God's will and mine are precisely the same.  But at some point(s), my will and God's are going to conflict.  

What happens then?   

I look around at the "walls" of God's will, at the boundaries in which I am "enclosed" if I genuinely want to live for Him.  I consider what the Church teaches on particular subjects.  I delve into Scripture.  Wow - there are some tough things to live up to in Scripture!  Pray for my persecutors?  Love my neighbor as myself?   Do not judge?!

Sometimes I find myself picking and choosing, wanting to wander outside the walls.  I can live this commandment, but I'm having some trouble with that other one.   I'll go right along with this chapter in the Catechism, but surely I'm not expected to take that one seriously.  I mean... c'mon!   Who does?
 
If I intend to live cloistered in heart, then I "does."  I don't just go grabbing stones out of my enclosure wall.  For if I do, it won't be long before that wall - that high, beloved wall built by Our Lord Himself to protect me - comes swiftly tumbling down.   And I am left unprotected, unshielded, vulnerable to attacks on my life, my spirit, my immortal soul.  

God's will and mine are going to conflict.  At various points, this will happen.  In order for me to choose God's will for Him and not just for my own self-interest, this HAS to happen. 
 
After all, if God's will and mine are always the same, however can I make a truly free choice for His?  

© 2013 Nancy Shuman.  All Rights Reserved.
thecloisteredheart.org     

Painting:  Gustave Caillebotte, The Kitchen Garden

Click this line to comment in the Parlor  
 
This post is linked to Catholic Bloggers Network Linkup    

The Shattered Wall

We've spent Lent (on this blog) slipping, sliding, grasping, flailing, glimpsing, climbing our way up several kinds of walls.  We've looked for ways over and around and through.  We've encountered locks and bars and ropes.

And then there was Easter.

Now, suddenly no lock is keyless.

Now, there is a way through walls.

Basically, it all comes down to This......




"Suddenly the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom..." (Matthew 27:51)



To return to the beginning of this 'mini-series' on walls, click here.

I Ask You

I have grabbed onto the 'ropes,' allowed God to help me through walls that kept me from Him, I've made the climb.  It has taken cooperation on my part, but I can now concentrate better in prayer.

Sometimes, it's as if a door opens and my heart suddenly recognizes the One I've been seeking.

Is what I find worth my efforts? 

I ask you.  

This is part of a 'mini-series' of posts on walls. To continue, click here.

Grabbing the Ropes

Picture Attribution

I am a needy person.  I'm in great need of God.  Yet, knowing that He has "thrown down" numerous "ropes" to help me scale walls between Him and me, I often turn away from His helps and let myself remain needy.  And, frankly, very stubborn.

"Lord, help me," I beg.  And then I forge ahead under my own steam.  I think of the joke (we've probably all heard it) about the man on the roof of his house as flood waters rose all around him.  He prayed and trusted God.  People called out to him from boats and a small plane, offering aid.  Nope, said he - God will save me. When the waters swept over him and he went to meet his Maker, he asked God why He hadn't come through.  "But I did come through," he was told.  "I sent you two boats and a helicopter!"

What ropes are before us today, just waiting to hoist us into the Presence of God on earth?  He has provided oh, so many aids!  There is the amazing Sacrament of Reconciliation to pull us out of serious sin.  There is His Presence in the Eucharist, where we can adore and even receive Him.

As we discussed a few days ago, there are ropes to pull us toward God in personal prayer... aids He has provided to snatch us out of the grasp of distractions so we can concentrate on Him.  Thus we'll be able to "hear" more clearly His guidance for our everyday lives.

Ah, but there is an enemy of our souls, one who'd like nothing better than to cut every one of our  ropes.  Or at least to convince us that we shouldn't use them, we don't need them, they're silly, we should be stronger and more intellectual than those who might need such things. 

The Sacraments.  Scripture.  Holy music.  Sacred art.  Holy reading.  The rosary.  Various devotions that the Church has found worthy of approval.  Stations of the Cross.  These have been "dropped down," as it were, through the merits of Our Lord's death and resurrection.  These are of much more value than all the ropes mankind ever made.

I will admit it.  I'm a needy person.  I need the Sacraments.  I need Scripture.  I need holy music and sacred art and saints and my guardian angel and lots of devotional reading.  I need helps to keep me focused in prayer.  I want nothing more than to stay tied tightly to my Lord, Jesus Christ.

I am a needy person.  So I'm grabbing the ropes.

Text not in quotes © 2013 Nancy Shuman.  All Rights Reserved.
thecloisteredheart.org    


This is part of a 'mini-series' of posts on walls. To continue, click here.

With God's Help, I Can Scale Any Wall

You, O Lord, are my lamp,

my God who lightens my darkness.

With you I can break through any barrier,

with my God I can scale any wall.

Psalm 18:29-30



This is part of a 'mini-series' of posts on walls. To continue in chronological order, click here.

Sometimes We Need a Little Help

There has been a breakthrough in my personal wall of ‘distracted prayer.’  I’ve found a door.  But can I describe it?  We’ll see.  This may not be all that easy, so I beg your patience as I try.

After reading a recent comment, I was hit with it.  I've been feeling as if I'm running from God when I don’t look forward to prayer time.  Not a pleasant thought at all.  I have felt lazy, undisciplined, and unloving.  Ouch.

Then one of you said something that opened a floodgate.  Because of this I suddenly saw myself sitting in my ‘prayer chair,’ Bible or Breviary in hand.  There I am (in my mental picture), settling in to pray.  In march the distractions, as they always do.  

The thing is:  once my mind makes any attempt to 'quiet,' then every stray thought that's been lingering around snaps up that golden opportunity to hop on in and demand its share of attention.  I can count on it.

Ah ha, there it is, I thought today.  'I can count on it.'  I've begun to associate sitting in prayer with feeling beaten up, bedraggled, worn down, defeated, and ashamed of being “lukewarm.’  Ah ha!

It’s not the Lord Himself I’ve been avoiding!  It is that persistent, nagging, dragging war with distractions. 

But what to do about this problem?  Stick to it, fight it out, trudge on upward, scale that wall of distractions unaided?

I'm sure God is pleased by such efforts.  However, I think He understands when we sometimes need a little help.  A spiritual director once asked me (when I was having trouble praying as I once had) 'well... what CAN you do?'  Start with that one thing (I was told), and begin to build on that. 

Today I went back to that suggestion.  I gave myself permission not to beat myself up, permission not to climb a ladderless wall with my bare, worn down hands.  I took one thing I CAN do and asked God to help me build on that.

The one thing (today) was music.  I remembered that I haven't been using it in my prayer time lately.  It has often helped me 'shake the dust of the world' out of my soul before, so I tried to find a CD.  Couldn't.  I'd moved them around.  

Then I got distracted by my laptop sitting next to me.. but instead of fighting that, I actually picked UP the laptop and clicked on a few holy songs (I knew just where to quickly find them).  Before long, I was absorbed in the music and singing along. 

There were pictures also, as these were YouTubes, so suddenly two senses were engaged.  One photo was of an incenser; I got distracted by thinking of how much I love incense.  No problem, I have a jar of it right next to my chair.  I opened it and the aroma gently filled my prayer space.  Three senses engaged.

I picked up a rosary (four senses), began to pray it, but before doing so I told God what and whom I wanted to pray for.  Soon I was thanking Him for one thing, and another... and, well.... what do you know!  I was talking with God, totally undistracted, unconcerned about anything other than Him and Him alone.  It was as if the whole entire world had disappeared. 

Well.  What do you know.   

'Come, O God of my heart,' wrote St. Gertrude, 'gather together my scattered mental powers and fix them upon Yourself.'

Thanks be to God.  He did.

Text not in quotes © 2013 Nancy Shuman.  All Rights Reserved.
thecloisteredheart.org    


This is part of a 'mini-series' of posts on walls. To continue in chronological order, click here.

The Wall of Distractions

I'd like to come back to the subject of walls.  It seems we'd just made our way through the doors of one wall, then another...  when suddenly we were "walled in prayer" for those inside the Sistine Chapel.

The doors opened, our new Holy Father emerged, and we have all been getting to know him.  Like our Sisters and Brothers behind monastic walls, we've allowed ourselves the mid-Lenten fun of white smoke, pealing bells, joyful greetings, maybe a bit of online reading (I wonder how many times our new Holy Father's name has been "googled" in the last two days?), and distractions of a prayerful kind. 

Now maybe we're returning to normal routines, going about our day-to-day lives.  Which brings me right to the next wall that I (personally) encounter most frequently when I'm trying to move closer to God in prayer.

This wall has doors, and they're right in front of me.  All I have to do is open them, but you know, it's funny.  When I get to these doors, it's like I forget why I came here.  My prayer today provides solid evidence of this fact, and if you'll forgive me for putting it as follows, I prayed something not too different from this:

"I will bless the Lord at all times; his praise shall be ever in my mailbox, which is where the book I ordered should arrive today, which is my goodness Friday already.  Oh, and I forgot to write down the time of the Easter lunch so I'd better go get my calendar while I'm thinking about it, and that reminds me, I need to call my friends and tell them the movie night needs to be rescheduled..."

I'd be willing to bet there are others out there who've had similar experiences. 

"Even our distractions can be helpful," writes Tim Gray, "as they show us what we're attached to and can signal subjects that we should submit to God." 

Lord God, thank You for showing me my attachments.  I ask you to continue shedding light on all that keeps me from moving forward in prayer.  Draw me on, in spite of and through the wall of distractions.  Help me remember that, on the other side of that wall, is a deeper encounter with YOU.

"Your Face is all lovely and Your Heart all inviting, but my thoughts alas! go wandering far from You.  Come, O God of my heart, gather together my scattered mental powers and fix them upon Yourself."  St. Gertrude

Text not in quotes © 2013 Nancy Shuman.  All Rights Reserved.
thecloisteredheart.org     

Painting: Théo Van Rysselberghe; Portret van Marguerite van Mons

This is part of a 'mini-series' of posts on walls. To continue in chronological order, click here.

The Wall of What Ifs

As we continue drawing closer to God, asking Him to order our lives, we just might come face to face with a wall we hadn't expected. 

We've made a commitment to try to please God and to avoid sin.  We meant it when we said "God, I want to be totally Yours."  Perhaps we've prayed something along the lines of: "God I abandon myself to You completely.  Let me live as You wish, not as I want.  Do with me whatever You will......"

"Do with me whatever You will."  Most of us, when saying this, will get at least a twinge of fear.  A  touch of the what-ifs.  It's natural to feel this way.  It is part of being human. Thoughts tumble across our paths, sometimes like pebbles, sometimes with the force of a rockslide.  I want God to do with me whatever He wishes.  However,

What if He gives me a cross I can't bear?
What if He calls me to go evangelize on the other side of the earth?

And of course I could list many more, but we all know them.  What I am asked to do now is go forward in spite of anxieties, not letting fear of "what God will ask of me" throw up a wall that blocks my path. I cannot go on my own, nor do I have to. 

Jesus is the Way through the wall of what-ifs.  Going forward, I take His hand....

"If you live according to My teaching, you are truly My disciples:  then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."  (John 8:31-32)

"O Most High, when I begin to fear, in You will I trust.  In God, in whose promise I glory, in God I trust without fear; what can flesh do to me?"  (Psalm 56:3-5)

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths."  (Proverbs 3:5-6)

"Only goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever."  (Psalm 23:6)

"Dismiss all anxiety from your minds.  Present your needs to God in every form of prayer and in petitions full of gratitude.  Then God's own peace, which is beyond all understanding, will stand guard over your hearts and minds, in Christ Jesus."  (Philippians 4:6-7)

Text not in quotes © 2013 Nancy Shuman.  All Rights Reserved.
thecloisteredheart.org   

This is part of a 'mini-series' of posts on walls. To continue in chronological order, click here.

The Other Side of That Wall

If I have repented of sin, I've made more than a giant leap toward God.  I have allowed Jesus to break down walls between us and to carry me swiftly into His Presence.  

Today's post is a slightly edited version of one I wrote here over a year ago, for these words of St. Faustina give us a glimpse into what has actually happened.  If I've repented of sin, I may or may not feel any different, but the truth is:  I have been met with great love.

"I saw that God was well pleased with me and, reciprocally, my spirit drowned itself in Him.  Aware of this union with God, I felt I was especially loved and, in turn, I loved with all my soul….   And the Lord said to me, ‘You are the delight of My Heart; from today on, every one of your acts, even the very smallest, will be a delight to My eyes...'  My earthly body was the same, but my soul was different; God was now living in it with the totality of His delight.  This is not a feeling, but a conscious reality that nothing can obscure.”  (St. Faustina, Diary) 

God will not be outdone in generosity.  If I've taken even one step toward Him (no matter how timid the step, no matter how faltering), I can be sure that He is reaching out to receive me.  I am enfolded, encompassed, and totally embraced by Love.

Photo © 2010 Nancy Shuman

This is part of a 'mini'-series' of posts on walls.  To continue in chronological order, click this line.

Lord, Free Me of Sin

The picture of the wall on this post is not "pretty."  It isn't supposed to be.  It is here to represent the thing that walls us off most fully from connecting with God, and that thing is unspeakably ugly.  It is so ugly that our Lord Jesus suffered an excruciating death to free us from it, to break through the wall of it, so we can enter the presence of God.

I am speaking, of course, of the wall of sin.  The thick, dark, grungy wall of sin.  The sin that separates us from God, darkening our minds to the light of Christ and causing us to flee from that light as we might from a searing blaze. 

Hopefully, we are not experiencing a wall that thick as we read this.  However, I daresay many of us have known it, at one time or another, and many live in such bondage today.  It can be hard to even want to get out of it.

Such a wall, can, in time, begin to feel comfortable.  We fool ourselves into thinking of it not as the place of danger it is, but as actually something of a "safe place."  If I cannot perceive God because of this wall, maybe it works both ways (I tell myself).  Maybe He can't see ME.  Maybe He'll forget all about me, and then He won't notice that I'm living in sin.  Maybe there isn't any such thing as sin; I mean, all I have to do is turn on TV to know that "social norms" seldom recognize its reality.

I can do a lot to hide that pesky wall.  Add a bright coat of paint, plant some ivy, maybe even put up a hedge so I don't see the wall at all, in time. Sin can be made to look quite attractive and normal.  Just a spray of denial and a dulling of conscience, and I'm all set.

Except that I'm not.  I'm not set at all.  I'm walled off from God; and in my moments of honesty, I am miserable. 

If I find myself in such a spot as I read this, I don't have to stay there.  If I am in serious sin, I daresay I know it.  I might have tried fooling myself, playing some "everybody's doing it" games in my head.  But I know.

The great thing is that I don't have to break down this wall myself.  There is a hole in it.  It is not a wide hole, but it's large enough for a person to get through.  It is a hole the size of a cross.

photo attribution

"Jesus, uttering a loud cry, breathed His last.  At that moment the curtain in the sanctuary was torn in two from top to bottom."  (Mark 3-38)

"It is in Christ and through His blood that we have been redeemed and our sins forgiven.:  (Ephesians 1:7)

"If we confess our sins, He who is just can be trusted to forgive our sins and cleanse us from every wrong."  (1 John 1:9)

Lord Jesus Christ, I confess to You that I am a sinner.  In particular, I ask forgiveness for these  transgressions___________.  I am so sorry.  If my sins have been grave, help me get to the Sacrament of Reconciliation.  Give me the strength to turn away from sin and temptation, and to avoid occasions that would lead me into sin.  Thank You for Your grace and mercy.  I ask You to break down any walls of sin that keep me from You.  Jesus, I trust in You.  Amen.

"I am more generous toward sinners than toward the just.  It was for their sake that I came down from heaven; it was for their sake that My blood was spilled.  Let them not fear to approach Me; they are most in need of My mercy."  (Jesus to St. Faustina)

Text not in quotes © 2013 Nancy Shuman.  All Rights Reserved.
thecloisteredheart.org   



This is part of a 'mini'-series' of posts on walls.  To continue in chronological order, click this line.

Let's Go In

I have been thinking about walls.   I woke up today dreaming of one in particular.  I was going around and around and around it, looking for the gate in, because inside was the "interior cloister."  But somehow the gate was hidden.  My first thought was "oh no... am I outside the will of God?!"  I really didn't think so.  Not in the sense of serious sin, anyway.

But then I thought of what it truly means to be a cloistered heart.

"The word cloister speaks of total consecration..." I wrote some years ago.  "Compromise does not fit well in a cloister, nor does lukewarmness, nor does complacency.  The cloistered life is absolute."

Compromise.  Lukewarmness.  Complacency.  Have these crept into my life?  After all, I live in the world.  I interact with it daily.  And "the world is persistent in its tugs on the heart trying to live for God..."

Being one who is called by God to live in the world, am I ever at risk of becoming too attached to the multitude of distractions it offers?  As I spend time with others, when I look at a newspaper or movie or TV, am I in danger of being infected by attitudes that are in actual conflict with the will of God?  These are, of course, rhetorical questions.  I think we know the answers all too well. 

Over the next few days, I would like to look at some of the things that can wall us off from growing closer to God.  More importantly, I hope to find the way to get through those barriers.  I know "walls" have been a theme here for the last week or two.  That was unintentional on my part. 

I'm beginning to think it may not have been unintentional on God's.

"The Good Lord willing and Internet connections don't fail," I'll see you back here tomorrow.  No matter where we are on the journey, we can have stronger faith, deeper prayer, more zealous love, greater virtue, higher joy.  With such blessings as these available, why would we want to spend one more minute lazing around in the tepid waters of lukewarm faith?

God is calling each one of us into the FULLNESS of His love. 

Let's go in.

"Ask, and you will receive.  Seek, and you will find.  Knock, and it will be opened to you.   For the one who asks, receives.  The one who seeks, finds.  The one who knocks, enters..."  (Mathew 7:7-8)

Painting: Karl Julius von Leypold, Wanderer im Sturm


This is part of a 'mini'-series' of posts on walls.  To continue in chronological order, click this line.