Doors I Cannot Open

The ideas haven't been half bad. I've imagined a hallway lined with doors, and each door leads to a room that opens into other hallways, and every hallway leads to more doors, and these are some of the chambers we find ourselves in as we journey toward living more fully for God.

I've given a few of the rooms' "working titles," all subject to change. There is the cushy room and the cluttered room and the Chamber of Secrets. There's Pinch 'Em Tight Hall and The Room of Windows and The Clue in the Attic (it may or may not be an asset that I grew up reading Nancy Drew).

Writing about these, I thought, could be a Lenten project. I've been collecting (for each room) scriptures, and quotes from saints, and experiences from my own life.

And then I started to write. Which led not to doors or rooms, but right smack dab into a wall.

I'm still at the wall, actually. It's not quite as bad now that I'm telling you about it, now that I'm bringing it out into the open and saying GOSH I'm having a struggle writing this. And I'm not sure why.

Is it that I have "writer's block?" Well, I do appear to have a case of it, but I don't know that this is the root of my inability to get words to paper screen. I think it's more likely that the block is a symptom of something more basic.

What could be the something-more-basic? Is it not having enough time to devote to this "project?" No, I've had plenty of time since Lent began.

But of course, devoting myself to this project is not my goal. My devotion should be to God, and God alone.

Maybe with that thought, I'm getting closer to the difficulty.

Is the struggle because I'm not taking enough time for prayer? Ah ha. That certainly must come first, every time and all the time, or I'm just spinning my spiritual wheels. If prayer is not the foundation, then I cannot "hear" from God, and I'm trying to open doors through my own power.

And with that thought, I am getting closer still.

So I will leave you for this time around, and go pray. I'll publish this post and immediately take an extra bit of prayer time. Yes, right now, I promise.

And next time we meet here, I'll let you know if I've seen GOD opening a door....


Text not in quotes © 2015 Nancy Shuman.  All Rights Reserved.
thecloisteredheart.org   



Photo on this post from Pixabay

Snapshots from a Backwards Blogger

"The Cloistered Heart," I wrote in 1996, "is prayer, a way of life, an experience. It is a heart learning to love God, a will vacillating between yielding to God and struggling against Him, it is encounter, it is poem....  I would like to tell you about this enclosure, this heart monasticism which has truly changed my life; yet I hope you will understand when I say I cannot tell you.  I can only show you 'snapshots' from my own journey into a cloister which I have found to be so beautiful that I never want to leave it again...." (from book The Cloistered Heart, Preface)

Thus it began. Or at least, thus began the preface, written to introduce a book that was taken from my 1993 magazine article that was taken from my journals begun in 1985. In other words, journal entries (i.e. "snapshots") were condensed into an article that was then expanded into a book that, years later, became the basis for a blog which you are now (heroically, since you've made it through this paragraph) reading.

Have I confused you yet? If not, just wait a minute. All our heads will be swimming if we manage to hang in there for this whole post.

The thing is: I blog backwards. Most people seem more likely to "journal" into a blog, then (maybe) a few of them organize some of the content into a book, in time. I've done the exact opposite. I journaled in quiet prayer, or while I rode with my husband in his boat, or when I awoke in the middle of the night. How such random, deeply personal thoughts made the trek from journals to magazine(s) to book(s) to becoming "organized" in a blog is a story in itself. In the meantime, I am growing as these concepts are arranged, here, more and more into categories.  I hope you find the organization (such as it is) helpful as well.

"Snapshots," however, are still being taken. I still indulge in an occasional journal ramble, a working-through-in-writing-scribble of how I can surrender to God in this situation, and that one. In other words; more personal things.

If you will indulge me, I'd like to share some fresh new "snapshots" right here once in awhile. After all, I've been practicing the "view through the grille" for such a long time now. Too bad I still struggle to see it clearly. I'd like to share some of the struggles, now and then.  Maybe once a week or so, in the midst of our regular posts?

As for photography itself, well - that has changed a lot since 1996, hasn't it?  It's all so instant now.  Perhaps cloistered heart journaling could be a bit like that?

Let's see what a new batch of snapshots just might unfold.

Sincerely,
The Backwards Blogger, Reggolb Sdrawkcab




Painting: William Holman Hunt

A Blog Post Slipped under the Door

I like to imagine that, were he living in our age, St. Francis de Sales would be a blogger.  After reading the following on Catholic Online, I suspect my idea may not be all that far-fetched.... 

"Francis' unusual patience kept him working.  No one would listen to him, no one would even open their door.  So Francis found a way to get under the door.  He wrote out his sermons, copied them by hand, and slipped them under the doors.  This is the first record we have of religious tracts being used to communicate with people." 

With this in mind, I would like to invite everyone here on yet another field trip.   Catholic Spirituality Blogs Network has twenty blog posts in the running for the first-ever Frankie Award, which will be awarded in honor of - guess who......!

Yes!  St. Francis de Sales.

I have a post among the nominees, that being "Go Through the Motions," from my other blog The Breadbox Letters.  We can click here to go visit the various posts, allow God to touch our hearts through them, and vote for one if we wish to do so.

It is primarily because of his tracts, copied tirelessly by hand and slipped under doors, that Francis de Sales has been named patron of Catholic journalists.  I cannot imagine a more appropriate saint for bloggers.

May he pray for all who slip faithful, God-honoring, blog posts through today's cyber-doors.