Facing "a culture ungrilled"

Monastery grilles are normally set into walls, so there is essentially "no getting around them."  The grille in this photo would have been in such a situation in its original state.  As it is now, however, it's on public display to illustrate how the set-up once worked. 

As persons who live in the world, we are not enclosed by physical walls and grilles.  If we want to respond to all things "through the grillwork of the will of God," we must make a conscious effort to "see" that grille before us.  Such seeing does not come automatically, and the culture we live in doesn't help us.  In fact, if we really pay attention to what God says about (insert topic here), we are likely to find a real conflict between God's revealed will and what we're told by the world around.  Scripture and Church teaching are clear on how to think according to the basics of God's will, but how often would we rather ignore the clarity?  We can find it quite easy to succumb to the murkiness of what is most commonly thought, tolerated, said, believed, done...

It is not difficult to find God's "mind" on a particular subject.  We have Scripture, and we've been given the marvelous tool of the Official Catechism of the Catholic Church.  There is not much that can't be found therein, and there we can find the basic "bars of the grille."

I love the photo on this post (for which I thank my friend CW) because I feel it shows my exact situation.  I have chosen to view and respond to life through the will of God.  However, I can move away at any time. I can simply get up, or even lean just a little, and I'm suddenly seeing life "un-grilled and raw."  Thankfully I don't have to stay ungrilled - Jesus is always waiting to help me get back to where I belong.

We live in the midst of an "ungrilled" culture.  With one click of a TV button or computer mouse, we come face to face with life as it was not intended, by God, to be.  Again:  we will look more at these things in days to come (and on a more personal basis).  But I will leave us, today, with one example.  I opened Scripture just a moment ago, and my eyes fell upon the 18th chapter of Luke.  Reading this, I wondered.....

If I were to check in on a few TV programs tonight, or go to a movie, or read a newspaper, or look up the voting records of various politicians and leaders, how many examples might I find of "a culture ungrilled?" 

"You shall not commit adultery.   You shall not kill.  You shall not bear dishonest witness.  Honor your father and your mother."  (Luke 18:20)

And that, of course, is just the beginning.  May we have grace to remain behind the "grille" of Our Lord's merciful Heart of love.

(photo on this post was taken at the Carmel of Port Tobacco in La Plata, Maryland, site of the first Carmelite monastery in the USA) 

Text not in quotes © 2012 Nancy Shuman.  All Rights Reserved.
thecloisteredheart.org    

Listening for the Bells

Monastery bells ring out at regular times throughout the day, and often in the night.  Each peal is a call signaling that it's time to pray, eat, work, meet....

In my life, too, I have "bells."  I admit that I both love and dread them.  Sometimes I think I'd find them more agreeable if they rang forth with monastic regularity, and I could know I must show up for dinner at noon and prayer at 1:00 and back to my work at 2:00.  But no; the bells calling me are usually unpredictable.  They rrrbrbrring forth from the phone, call with a baby's cry, clang in a doorbell.  

Today, in a moment of hassle (of the sort that can feel overwhelming), I decided to make peace with the bells. I think this decision came with a ring of inspiration.  I was overworked, overtired, with too much to do in too few minutes and no energy left to do it with.  

And it hit me.  With a "DONG," it hit me.  I realized that I was scrubbing and gift-wrapping and preparing and rushing and being interrupted because there are people I love who would prefer a clean house to a dirty one.  And because a little one has a birthday.  And because there are family members and friends visiting, in two different batches, over the next week.  And because I have the incredible gift of a family.  My goodness - how blessed am I!!

Yesterday I wrote about counting my blessings.  Today I counted them clang-by-clang.  I had already been thinking of writing about monastery bells, so today I was aware of every sweet chime.

God asks of me what He asks of those in physical monasteries..... obedience to the "bells."  Loving attention to the responsibilities of my life.  What an opportunity for thanksgiving this could be.   "Thank You, Lord, for Linus's birthday.... thank you that he was born."  And if the phone rings as I'm gift-wrapping?  "Thank You for the friend who's calling."  Oh... the friend has a need?  I can pray for that as I mop the floor...

Again, it may sound "simple."  But I've found that the most "do-able" things to help my life of prayer are often just that.   

For prayer and reflection:

"Each small task of everyday life is part of the total harmony of the universe."  (St. Therese of Lisieux)

"The way we came to understand love was that He laid down His life for us; we too must lay down our lives for our brothers.... little children, let us love in deed and in truth and not merely talk about it."  (1 John 3:16 & 18) 

(public domain photo)

This post was re-posted by THE FEMININE GIFT 

Text not in quotes © 2012 Nancy Shuman. 
thecloisteredheart.org    

Considering Lilies

I think we have time for one more stroll around the cloister garden before this day is done.  We can rely on the bells to remind us when to come inside; in the meantime, I'd like to consider the lilies....

"Take the lilies:  they do not spin, they do not weave; but I tell you, Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like any one of them.  If God clothes in such splendor the grass of the field, which grows today and is thrown on the fire tomorrow, how much more will He provide for you..." (Luke 12:27-28)

If I look around today, can I see ways in which God is providing for me?   A roof over my head, food to eat, water for a shower?  His provision can be seen in ways as broad as sunshine and as specific as a note arriving in the mail when I need a smile.  It may seem the simplest of exercises to "count my blessings," but I've found it an effective aid to help me remember God's personal care for me.  

For prayer and reflection:

"Are not two sparrows sold for next to nothing?  Yet not a single sparrow falls to the ground without your Father's consent; so do not be afraid of anything.  You are worth more than an entire flock of sparrows."  (Matthew 10:29-31)

(public domain photo)

Further into the Garden...

It's hard to stay out of the garden when spring has freshly arrived.  It is a time of new life.  A time of celebration.

We are now moving into the final days of Lent, when we will focus more intently upon the greatest expression of love the world has ever known.  I find my mind going to another garden, one from which Our Lord was taken just before He suffered for you and for me.

I don't know what "areas of the monastery" we'll be visiting in the week and a half just ahead, but I do know this much.  I will be praying - and I invite you to as well - that we will all see more deeply than ever the personal love Our Lord has for each and every one of us.  Love that would suffer to the death.  Love that would rise and bring us eternal life. 

Occasionally we will look into Scriptures we've cited before... this is because Scripture is fresh each time we pray with it.  The more we look, pray, consider, the more we see and experience and hear and realize and know His personal love...

"Arise, My beloved, My beautiful one, and come!  For see, the winter is past, the rains are over and gone.  The flowers appear on the earth, the time of pruning the vines has come, and the song of the dove is heard in our land.  The fig tree puts forth its figs, and the vines, in bloom, give forth fragrance.  Arise, My beloved, My beautiful one, and come!"  (Song of Songs 2:10-13)

Praise from the Cloister Garden

"Bless the Lord, all you works of the Lord, Praise and exalt Him above all forever...

Let the earth bless the Lord, Praise and exalt Him above all forever.  Mountains and hills, bless the Lord.  Everything growing from the earth, bless the Lord...

O Israel, bless the Lord, Praise and exalt Him above all forever. Priests of the Lord, bless the Lord.  Spirits and souls of the just, bless the Lord.  Holy men of humble heart, bless the Lord...

Let us bless the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit.  Let us praise and exalt him above all forever.  Blessed are you, Lord, in the firmament of heaven.  Praiseworthy and glorious and exalted above all forever."  (from Daniel 3)

(photo N Shuman March 25, 2012)

Where His Glance Falls

"God passes through the thicket of the world, and where His glance falls He turns all things to beauty.”  (St. John of the Cross)

God’s glance seems to have fallen on cloister gardens lately.   In my part of the world, gray shades of winter have given way to greens and yellows and pinks.  Spring itself appears to have been bypassed, erased from the calendar, as sudden blossoms race toward July.

It is, I think, a time for relishing.  Whatever the weather outside our own doors, we can take time to notice it.  Perhaps our “exercise” today can be that of noticing.  Maybe we can take a moment during this day or evening to sit down, sit still, sit back, and allow ourselves to find – perhaps in something right before us - the presence of God. 

“Creation is a great book.  Look above you; look below you!  Note it; read it!  God did not write that book with ink.  Instead, He set before your eyes the things that He had made.  Can you ask for a louder voice than that?  Why, heaven and earth cry out to you:  ‘God made me!’”  (St. Augustine)  

For prayer and meditation: 

“Arise, My beloved, My beautiful one, and come!  For see, the winter is past, the rains are over and gone.  The flowers appear on the earth, the time of pruning the vines has come, and the song of the dove is heard in our land.  The fig tree puts forth its figs, and the vines, in bloom, give forth fragrance.  Arise, my beloved, my beautiful one, and come!” (Song of Songs 2:10-13)

(photo © 2010 N Shuman)

Location, Location, Location

The will of God is prime spiritual real estate.  It is the safest, most secure “place” in which a person can dwell.  In order to live within this place of refuge, however, we must embrace its boundaries.  

The primary perimeters of God's will are not at all hard to find.  They are revealed in Scripture and outlined clearly in the Catechism of the Catholic Church.  Because God loves us, He has set these boundaries in place for our security, and He has generously revealed them to us. 

"Live in My will,” God tells me.  “Live in My will when you understand it and when you do not.  Trust ME."  In the face of such an invitation, I have a choice to make.  I am issued this invitation not just once, but in circumstance after circumstance, day after day.  

Will I dwell in the security of God’s will? 

Or must I insist on stumbling about in the hazards of my own. 

For prayer and meditation:

“You who dwell in the shelter of the Most High, who abide in the shadow of the Almighty, say to the Lord:  ‘my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.’”  (Psalm 91:1-2)

“You must know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is within - the Spirit you have received from God.  You are not your own.  You have been purchased, and at a price!  So glorify God in your body.” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)  

Text © 2012 Nancy Shuman.  All Rights Reserved.
thecloisteredheart.org   

the path back home

Sometimes the enclosure of a monastery is a vast place, encompassing fields and woods as well as gardens.  I was once a retreatant in such a location, and found myself caught in the meadow during a sudden storm.  One minute I was strolling along under partly cloudy skies, and the next I was hearing cracks of thunder.  As I trudged up a long hill on the edge of a patch of woods, flashes of lightning streaked overhead.  

I think of this and wonder.  What if I strayed to the farthest edges of my enclosure?  What if I became so distracted by things outside God's will that I drifted off to its farthest limits?  What if something just beyond looked so enticing that I wandered right outside? 

I would then be stuck outside the cloister.  Maybe in a snowstorm, cold, on a slippery slope, away from the safety of my monastic home.  Oh why did I ever leave it, why did I drift so far?  

Is there a way back in?

The answer, in a word, is YES.  I know this through experience, and I'd bet that everyone reading this has had touches of mercy as well.  It we look around today and find we've strayed outside the enclosure of God's will, Lent is a good time to take a step back in.  

God has not left us "pathless."  "I am the way, and the truth, and the life," says Jesus (John 14:6). 

It is time to come Home.

For reflection:  
"The whole power of the sacrament of Penance consists in restoring us to God's grace and joining us with Him in an intimate friendship."  (Catechism of the Catholic Church # 1468)

For prayer:  

"Though your sins be like scarlet, they will become white as snow."  (Isaiah 1:18)

"If we acknowledge our sins, He who is just can be trusted to forgive our sins, and cleanse us from every wrong."  (1 John 1:9)

"Your ways, O Lord, make known to me; teach me Your paths.  Guide me in Your truth and teach me, for You are God my Savior, and for You I wait all the day."  (Psalm 25:4-5)

(snow photo on this post © copyright 2012 E. Shuman.  All rights reserved.)  

Text not in quotes © 2012 Nancy Shuman.  All Rights Reserved.
thecloisteredheart.org      

up the staircase

The corridors in our cloister are long and winding.  One leads to another, which leads to another, and before long we’ve reached a staircase…

We begin to step.  Only one stair at a time, of course, even if we’re anxious to make our way up speedily.  We do not reach holiness in one quick swoop.  The realization that I can take it one step at a time actually gives me hope.  And so I inch my way forward, taking today’s step toward not complaining when tempted to, tomorrow’s toward more prayer, the next day’s into opening the Bible a bit more often…  

I will trip once in awhile, I will hesitate.  I might take a tumble; after all, even Peter denied Jesus.  But Peter didn’t stay down; he got up, allowed the Lord to forgive him, and continued his climb.  

Our Lord Lights the way; He does not let me “climb” alone.  As I make my way, I hold onto the strong railings of Scripture and the Catechism of the Catholic Church.  When my faith and determination grow wobbly, I open those and I LEAN….. 

I look up at the staircase.  Have I brought with me anything that weighs me down or makes me afraid to take the next step closer to God?   In Matthew 4:20 I’m told that Jesus’ first disciples, upon hearing His call, immediately dropped their nets to follow Him.  Are there “nets” entangling me?  Is there some sin or vice that I need to drop?

If so, I can talk to Jesus about it right here, right now.  So what if I just stumbled across a random blog?  Even while looking at a computer screen, I can pray.  Jesus' mercy and love are waiting for ME.  

For prayer and meditation:   

“I will instruct you and show you the way you should walk; I will counsel you, keeping My eye on you.” Psalm 32:8

“Lead me in the path of your commands, for in it I delight.” Psalm 119:33-35

Text not in quotes © 2012 Nancy Shuman.  All Rights Reserved.
thecloisteredheart.org      

got journal?

This is a quick extra post for today, just letting you know that I'm anticipating our "Lenten cloister adventure" more by the moment!  I have decided to keep a written record of how God inspires and leads me, personally, as we go along.  If you've never experienced the fruit of keeping a prayer journal, you might like to give it a try!

can't wait to see....

Our friend Joy wrote to share her reaction to yesterday’s picture of the enclosure entrance. “I can just see myself walking that long hall.  We have been asked to leave all of our belongings, our ‘baggage,’ outside the door.  We are invited to come in with empty hands that they will be ready and free to receive whatever it is that the good Lord wants to give us. 

"We bring an expectant heart, a willing soul and an open mind able to hear the words of our Lord and His daily directives to us. 

"As we enter, there is such an air of excitement.  We look around and see many there who are like us in so many ways:  willing, ready, and anxious to get going. 

"The Abbess is the Blessed Mother.  She is there to welcome each and every one of us and assure us that she will be alongside us the whole time.  She makes us feel at ease.  We are comforted by her motherly love.

"How excited we are, not really knowing what lies ahead.  We can't wait to get started.  We’re a little curious and maybe even a little unsure of the ‘unknown.’ Especially with us having to leave all of what we are so familiar with outside the door; no longer having that crutch to lean on or grasp to ourselves.  This is a whole new way of life, but one we are all too willing to start.

“Mary takes each one of us by the hand as we silently move ahead into the silence of our own hearts and are ready for whatever is waiting for us there.  I can't wait to see...”

Can I identify with Joy’s thoughts or feelings?  Do I come into this Lent with an expectant heart?   

If I have anxieties or concerns, Jesus is inviting me to give those to Him.  My Mother Mary is waiting to help me as I do.  When I get to the end of this first hallway, what will I find around the corner?

I can't wait to see.

Your Lenten Invitation

As Lent begins, I am stepping back to take a fresh look into the "cloister."  I've been trying to live as a cloistered heart for a number of years now.  So how am I doing?  Hmm.  I'm not so sure...

Perhaps a good Lenten exercise would be to look more intensely, more personally, more prayerfully, into various areas of the cloister.  What would you say to joining me for some "cloistered exercises" for Lent?  Not unlike what we've been doing... we'll still be visiting areas inside our monasteries... but with the addition of a few brief "application" possibilities for anyone who might be interested in such things as we wander about the halls.   Nothing lengthy, no departure from our present explorations, but with the inclusion of a scripture and maybe a question and/or prayer for personal reflection.

I think the discipline of "praying in each area of the cloister" would be good for me.  Heaven knows, I need it!

You will not "miss out" if you cannot check in every day or two, so please come when you can.  Each "visit" should be able to stand on its own.

The enclosure doors stand open to receive us!  Once we step through, we'll find a grand reception awaiting.  The first person we'll meet is the Abbess.  I'll bet you can guess who that might be.....

beyond the sweet thoughts

As a cloistered heart, I spend a lot of time at the grille.  There is a good reason for this.  As one desiring to see and respond to every person and every situation through the "grillwork of the will of God," I am called to face life through the grille at every moment.  The grille is a place of separation and of connection.  If I were not called to encounter the world, there would be no reason for grillwork; I may as well (in that case) be enclosed only in walls. 

Ah, but responding to life as God asks me to in Scripture and Church teaching - that is far from easy.  In 1991, I wrote to a cloistered nun about my struggle.  "God's will is my 'cloister grille,'" I said then.  "Such a sweet, charming thought!  You and I both know that if my will and God's will are always the same, then that statement remains nothing BUT a sweet, charming thought.  God's will in its varied manifestations is not always so attractive to me, and my feelings just love to rebel and send me beating my unsurrendered fists against the grillwork with pleas to let me out..."

© 2012 Nancy Shuman.  All Rights Reserved.
thecloisteredheart.org

Carved in His Heart

The photo on today's post is of my favorite tree.  When I found the heart-shaped hole in it not too long ago, I was touched to see where it happened to be located.  The "heart" is directly above a spot where I often sat, some years ago, scribbling my first journal notations about what it might mean to live in this world as a cloistered heart. 

Coming across this photo in my files today, I immediately thought of hearts carved in trees.  Hearts made by young men and women intending to signify that their love is permanent.  Names carved inside a heart... linked together by a + . Initials not just scribbled on a piece of paper, but put onto a more permanent object; something expected to last.  "I will love you forever," the hearts imply. "I shall carve your name inside this heart, for I do not intend to let you go."

"What will we do," asks St. Francis de Sales, "when, in eternal glory, we see the most adorable heart of Jesus through the holy wound in His side.. a heart in which, written in characters of fire, all of us will be inscribed?  Ah!  We will then say to the Savior, 'is it possible that You have loved me so much that You have even written my name in Your heart?'"

"See, I have carved your name on the palms of My hands," says the Lord to us. (Isaiah 49:16). 

 He never intends to let us go. +

(photo copyright © 2011 N Shuman)

Text not in quotes © 2012 Nancy Shuman.  All Rights Reserved.
thecloisteredheart.org      

warmed by the Son

"Do not be surprised at having distractions or at being cold and weary at prayer, as these are the effects of the sensitive and emotional part of our being and of the heart, over which we have little control.  For these we should not give up going to Holy Communion, because no one can better recollect our spirit than its King; nothing can better warm it than the Sun, nothing can better sweeten it than such balm."  (St. Francis de Sales, letter)

the long dry winter

Monasteries are not drought-proof.  When skies close up and rains no longer soak the ground, monastery fields and gardens are no less subject to dryness than are any other plots of land. 

The monastery of the heart is not drought-proof, either.  Sometimes we feel as if our souls are barren, lifeless, parched.  There are days when our prayers seem to go nowhere, times when we feel that God Himself has left the universe to dry up and wither to dust.

If we’ve ever felt this way, we are not alone.  “I could neither pray nor read,” wrote St. Teresa of Avila about one such experience, “but there I remained, for hours and hours together, uneasy in mind and afflicted in spirit on account of the weight of my trouble, and of the fear that perhaps after all I was being tricked by the devil, and wondering what in the world I could do for my relief.  Not a gleam of hope seemed to shine upon me from either earth or heaven; except just this: that in the midst of all my fears and dangers I never forgot how Our Lord must be seeing the weight of all I endured….”  

So:  we’re not alone in having such experiences.  But what do we do about them?

I have found that the saints help me, in this kind of challenge, to find "the view through the grille."  

“If you do nothing else the whole time of prayer than bring your heart back and put it beside Our Lord, although each time you do so it turns away from Him, your hour will be very well employed.” (St. Francis de Sales)

“One single act done with aridity of spirit is worth more than many done with feelings of devotion.”  (St. Francis de Sales) 

“Let your prayer be very simple.  For the tax collector and the prodigal son just one word was enough to reconcile them with God.”  (St. John Climacus)

“His will is, that entering into prayer, we should be prepared to suffer the pain of continual distractions, dryness and disgust, which may come upon us, and that we should remain as constant as if we had enjoyed much peace and consolation.  It is quite certain that our prayer will be none the less pleasing to God nor less useful to ourselves, for having been made with difficulty.” (St. Francis de Sales)

Text not in quotes © 2012 Nancy Shuman.  All Rights Reserved.
thecloisteredheart.org     

Enclosed in Joy

God's will is always for my good.  While I realize that enclosure in God's will is 'confining,' I must also recognize that it is for my ultimate good.  I cannot lose sight of this truth.  God's will is not for my destruction.  Yes, He wills that sin be destroyed in me, that evil be destroyed - but this is because sin harms me.  God's will shall bring me joy.  This does not mean it will bring me pleasure at every moment, but ultimately it will bring me into the fullness of joy.  And so, surrender to God's will should not be a gloomy kind of thing, but a giving of myself with joy.  

No illness, financial collapse, or political circumstance can take Jesus from me.  Nothing can remove Him, for He is in my heart.  I possess the very satisfaction that all are seeking and that no one can really find without finding Him. 

In cloistering my heart, I must remember that cloistered life is meant to be a life of joy as total as one can find on earth.  
                             
(adapted from Cloistered Heart book)  

Text © 2012 Nancy Shuman.  All Rights Reserved.
thecloisteredheart.org   

cause for rejoicing here

A friend recently wrote:  "I was thinking how good it is that we have 'salesmen' and things that 'bang on the grille' for our attention. This means that the cloister, this way of life, is REAL. Were there not difficulties, dryness, repulsions, it would just be a nice idea - a human idea. Thanks be to God for the temptations and the noise - for it is by these that we are made humble and are given a sign that the work is hated by the evil one - a true mark that if we are faithful to it, to Christ, in times of difficulty, the effects of grace will extend far beyond our imaginings..." (from J.)
 

"There is cause for rejoicing here.  You may for a time have to suffer the distress of many trials; but this is so that your faith, which is more precious than the passing splendor of fire-tried gold, may by its genuineness lead to praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ appears."  (1 Peter. 1:6-7)

 

There are salesmen in our foyer.  They don't just call to us, they bang on the grille.  They remind us that there are difficulties in life, they throw dryness and temptations at us.  Their presence, as my friend says, is a mark that IF we are faithful to Christ, the effects of grace will extend FAR beyond our imaginings.

We have cause to rejoice.

Text not in quotes © 2012 Nancy Shuman.  All Rights Reserved.
thecloisteredheart.org      

salesmen in the foyer

The monastery foyer is where visitors enter to be greeted through a grille.  In the analogy of the cloistered heart, I think of the foyer as my mind.  It's where thoughts come in requesting admittance.  Ideally, good and virtuous thoughts are allowed to linger.  Mean, condemning, fearful, evil thoughts are shown the door.  At least, that is the ideal.

We all know it's not that simple.

I think of unholy, unkind, worrying thoughts as "salesmen in the foyer."  They generally enter unbidden, although I often do invite them (even if unintentionally) by what I read, listen to, view.  They trail in on the coattails of family members; they hitchhike in magazine pages; their voices thread through memories I entertain.  They stand in the foyer, opening their catalogs of old regrets and new fears and future dreads.  

Recently there was a convention in my foyer.  I didn't recognize "the salesmen" at first, and by the time I realized who they were and what was happening, I was already quite mired down.  I had forgotten there was a grille between us, and I'd focused my eyes right between the grille-bars so I could plainly see the wares being offered. And then I remembered my grille.  I will admit to finding it hard, at first, to step back and take a look THROUGH it... after all, the catalogs of worries laid out before me were remarkably compelling.  Part of me wanted to continue my unobstructed view.  But then I picked up my Bible and opened it to a "bar of my grillwork....." 

"Praised be the Lord, I exclaim, and I am safe from my enemies."  (Psalm 18:4) 

I cannot describe the sense of relief that flooded me as I not only read these words, but began to put them into practice.  I wasn't feeling physically up to par, I'd been bombarded by worries and stresses..... but still, I could praise the Lord!  Nothing should be able to prevent that!  Every salesman on earth might be standing in my "foyer," but I could make the decision to praise God.  Each time a worry trickled in, I could actually let it serve as a reminder to give thanks and praise to God. 

"Praised be the Lord, I exclaim"... and so I do. 

...and I am safe from my enemies."  And so I am.

Text not in quotes © 2011 Nancy Shuman.  All Rights Reserved.
thecloisteredheart.org   

curling up in a book

I know what it’s like to curl up with a good book.  I also know the joy of curling up WITHIN one, nestling into a volume and living inside its pages, carrying its atmosphere with me for days and months thereafter. 

Which is why I choose my books very, very carefully. 

As a cloistered heart, desiring to view all things through the "grillwork of the will of God," I don't want just anything to form my outlook. Like a child imitating the grownups around her, I want to model my attitudes and actions on the genuinely holy "grownups in the Faith" who have left a legacy of words. I pray to see as they have seen, to grow as they have grown…

"In the midst of these natural fears, a strong thought took possession of my heart: ‘Ah, how good it would be to be able to imitate St. Paul and to see myself in fetters for the love of Jesus, who was bound for me...’  This sweet thought prevailed so strongly in my soul that I desired those chains more than I feared captivity….we never find crosses, nails, or thorns in the midst of which, if we look closely, we do not find Jesus Christ… When I saw myself surrounded by murderous waves, by infinite forests, and by a thousand dangers, there came to my mind that precious saying of St. Ignatius the Martyr: ‘today I begin to be the disciple of Christ.’  For what do so many exercises, so many fervent meditations, so many eager desires avail?  All these are nothing but wind if we do not put them into practice.’"  (Paul Le Jeune, quoted in Jesuit Missionaries to North America by Francois Roustang SJ, Ignatius Press, 2006, pp. 100-101)

"I keep going forward bravely - though my feet become wounded - to my homeland and, on the way, I nourish myself on the will of God.  It is my food.  Help me, happy inhabitants of the heavenly homeland, so that your sister may not falter on the way." (St. Faustina Kowalska, Divine Mercy in My Soul (Diary), Marians of the Immaculate Conception, 1996, p. 347)

"If I can’t breathe, God will give me the strength to bear it.  I love Him!  He’ll never abandon me."  (St. Therese of Lisieux, Her Last Conversations, ICS Publications, p. 115)

"The contemplative has a special way of reading books…. he uses them as intermediaries to arrive at … that experimental knowledge of God which tastes the sweetness of His infinite goodness." (Monks of the Strict Observance, Cistercian Contemplatives, 1947, p. 54)